The unique perspective of the black community and psychology. We transition into exercise psychology, shifting mindsets to master food issues, and family roadblocks. Dr Ebony Butler developed paid workshops, food blogging, Live videos and more. What people are experiencing and What led to these behaviors and How to analyze these dynamics specifically in the black community? We don’t want to look like we are crazy, what goes on in your house-stays in your house and other ways that not only cultural but geographical differences affect our psychology.
Mistrust from the past keeps a lot of people from seeking the help that could occur.
When you go to methods of dealing with situations is failing you, where can you turn and is a psychologist an alternative in the black community?
She discusses the ins and outs of having a minority patient with a minority doctor and how / why that can be a hindrance for some clients to want to open up. You are an expert where you sit, I am an expert where I sit, and let’s bridge the two.
Growing up in a family that didn’t have a focus on health, combined with the undergrad lifestyle of eating what ever you want- she found herself tipping the scales despite having a gym membership. Dr. Butler made some changes during her masters and PhD program and accredits the major changes in health and weight loss to a distinctive mind shift.
This mind shift that Dr Butler achieved was the catalyst to helping her create an empire to help others. She has workshops, downloadable guides and of course counseling and coaching services to help others achieve their own health goals.
Much of what we discuss is that we have learned behaviors throughout life about healthy or non-healthy lifestyles so it takes a strong mindset shift to peel back the destructive and rebuild constructive paradigms. The destructive pathways could have been from sexual abuse, overeating over your feelings like stress or breakups and so much more.
We go deep into the difference s of a coach versus counselor relationships and how to bridge those murky lines. We address the burden of responsibility and legality that a coach vs PhD has as well. Being a Doctor and a counselor and a coach requires unique boundaries and regulations. Are we all coaches?
Dr. Ebony uses a term Skinny Fat and what she did to cut the sugar and why she is training for a bikini competition. Can you be so far removed from the daily struggle that you lose touch with what others are going through? She knows how to get rid of faulty thinking patterns.
Why is it that the ones we love most (family) are the ones that could end up sabotaging or wounding us when we do make great choices like portion control, exercising even after your skinny etc. She has a major focus on changing behaviors to lose weight by changing your perspective.
Things we remember most from bullied are the Words not the Actions against us.
When is a good time to revisit the Goals you have set for yourself? When is it ok to modify these goals and why would you?
When to hire a Virtual Assistant, Why, and Qualities to look for? Around minute 43 she talks about ways to integrate a class on social media into a grad school curriculum. We don’t learn marketing and we need to do that so we can prosper. We need to be heard and show off experience and go beyond theory only.
We both love Fiverr.com and she explains how she used it for converting a webinar to a book.
How going Live on social media skyrocketed her business and lessons learned during the 7 day a week Live sessions. The do’s and don’ts, topics covered as a psychologist, food therapy, exercise and nutrition were all topics she went Live about. She talks about how to transition the free info from going Live to 8-12 week paid programs.
Mysisterskeep-her.com is her business and would love to provide more women workshops and retreats multiple times per year.
4 of her best friends have a Food Blog. They take pictures of food ( mostly staples to different areas and cities as well as Soul Food) and write a review about it. For instance, in Miami plantain dishes could be a family comfort food or staple food.
With food blogging, live video on social media to 1 am, creating workshops, training for a bikini competition… listen near the end on the importance of having a turn off time limit so your friends and family don’t feel neglected and this new project that wakes you up and excites you in the middle of the night doesn’t destroy your relationships.
Insight timer for daily gratitude journal and meditation.
The Path to Wealth by May McCarthy
Urban Monk Podcast – gut health, intermittent fasting, and the host is a medical doctor
Therapy for Black Girls: Joy Bradford. Current events and psychology and what that means for the black community
Cash App for your phone so people can pay you immediately
Drebonyonline IG ebonybutlerphd Periscope
Show notes can be found at www.adoctorsperspective.net/47 here you can also find links to things mentioned, the Travel Tip and a complete transcript.
Justin Trosclair 0:02
Episode 47 lifestyle and exercise psychology food blogger and marketer. I'm your host, Dr. Justin Charles Claire and today we're here Dr. Ebony Butler perspective.
Join 2017 podcast Awards Nominated host, Dr. Justin. As he gets a rare to see him look into the specialties, all types of doctors and guess plus marketing, travel tips, struggles, goals, and relationship advice. Let's hear a doctor's perspective.
I am very excited. We are in week three of a six week series highlighting African American doctors and an extra special guests. So far we've been hearing from PhD, psychologist, doctors of education, we're gonna have a medical doctor coming up soon, as well as a brilliant computer programmer, we've not only been covering the unique aspects of being an African American doctor, but also working in an African American community and other races we've heard and we will hear the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Plus, everybody has a unique background and unique qualities that we get to explore on each episode. So I'm super stoked to continue our African American holiday spotlight series. Let's do this.
today's gonna be a good show. Our guest Dr. Butler goes into little more details about the unique perspective of the black community when it comes to food and healthcare and psychology to dive into her own personal struggle with weight gain. And what kind of mind shift she had to have to drop that weight and conquer that. But stay tuned to the middle in the end, because then we start talking about her going live on social media, her workshops that she's created, how to go from free to paid how important marketing is in a psychology clinic. And a whole bunch more. All the show notes can be found at a doctor's perspective, net slash four seven travel tips at the very end. Let's go hashtag behind the curtain.
Live from the United States of America. Welcome to the doctor's perspective podcast with a psychologist who looks at the mental as well as the physical of all things. Weight loss. Thank you so much for being on the show. Dr. Ebony Butler.
Hey, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Justin Trosclair 2:18
Absolutely. I saw your Instagram. And I saw some of the things that you were doing. I was like, Oh, this is this will be good.
And you never know who's watching. I love it.
Justin Trosclair 2:28
Exactly. I mean, we have a guy on the other day talking about low carb living
Justin Trosclair 2:35
Yeah. So I'm excited to to bridge from that and learn a new angle.
Yes, Yes, you are.
Justin Trosclair 2:42
So let's just jump in. There's a lot of things you can do in your life. How did you pick psychology?
Yeah. So I remember being in high school and having a teacher who was actually so crazy about psychology. And I was like, Oh, I want to learn about that. But I really didn't know what I was getting myself into. So I went to college, I majored in psychology, and I want it to be able to understand at a deeper level what people were experiencing, you hear people say, Oh, I want to know about the mind, I really want to know what led to some of these things from a more behavior perspective. And I really wanted to know what was going on in the black community, and to be able to help those issues in the black community and be able to kind of break the statement that was there, because I grew up with a stigma about mental health. And I wanted to help kind of break down those barriers. So that's initially when I went into psychology.
Justin Trosclair 3:29
Let's just jump into that. Okay, what are some of the, I guess, common misconceptions that that affect black society as far as as mental health?
Oh, sure, is, you don't want to be looked at as crazy. If there's anything that going on, you keep that in your house, what goes on in the house stays in the house, because we don't want anybody to figure out our business. Because there's a huge level of mistrust historically, amongst the black community and providers. You look at the Tuskegee Airmen and those doctors in the co host if this thing, so there's a huge, just mistrust there and in from time that's been passed on. And we don't want people to already count something else that gives us when we already have so much against us. So we're always trying to put our best foot forward. And to be crazy on top of that means that you're even though you're at a more a disadvantage. So don't tell anybody anything we want to put on like everything is okay. So that keeps a lot of people from going to seek the help that they actually need. And it keeps a lot of problems perpetuated in the community that could otherwise be resolved. And we just kind of realized that this isn't a black issue, this isn't a white issue. This is a person human issue.
Justin Trosclair 4:41
Are you noticing that what you are doing is is helping bridge that in your community?
Yeah, so I hear a lot of people tell me all those through my inbox, of course, that they'll like I suffer with depression, I suffer with anxiety, I thought about suicide, I just don't understand why I'm so lonely. And everybody around me thinks I'm happy. I prayed about it, I ask God to help me in depth in is still resolving. Nothing is happening. So what I do is I offer some help, kind of do that, that way that that approach, but largely people are becoming more and more cognizant of their own issue and be able to talk about that a little bit more. And I think on a larger scale, we're realizing that we just can't keep this tower sales. Because with what we're keeping to ourselves, it's actually hurting us. And so I've seen a lot more people come around and say, Hey, I don't believe that. And what I was taught actually isn't a true. And so I'm willing to kind of say that and learn a different way, because that way has not been working. So I have seen people begin to do that. And it also is geographically photosensitive. So if I go back to Mississippi, I still find that we are a little bit slower in Mississippi. But if I go out to the west coast, oh, it's an accessory to have a therapist for everybody, or so. Yeah, you know, it just depends on where you are. And now here in Texas, is no, it's no big thing, either. We recognize that this is also something that we need and when we're willing to talk about it is taking some time. But I think on a larger scale, it is happening. Do you find that if you're able to have an African American doctor for the ephemera community, that it's just bridges it that much easier to have them to come in sometime, because some of the thing that happened, one of the things that happens is that people think, Oh, this is going to be great, I've been some experienced that in the work field to this is going to be great people are going to come to you or is going to be better to have another minority there. While that's true, in some instances, sometimes it's also a hindrance, because people may feel like that's too close to home. And I would rather not tell somebody that much about myself. So that's too close. And I'm embarrassed is kind of like you a lot of it with men and men and female there is some men would rather go talk to female therapists and coaches if they have like a erectile dysfunction or some sexual issue because it's too embarrassed, and he will talk to another meal about it. So you kind of have some of those same dynamics that sometimes they rather talk to another minority because they feel like they get it. But sometimes it's too close to home. And I want to talk to somebody who, who may not have a bias or who's completely out of my community. And I feel like it's still a little bit of distance between me and the issue. For them knowing issue,
Justin Trosclair 7:33
or that's it. Yeah, that is really interesting. Because you would expect the my general, my general idea would be we're similar. We know where we're coming from. But then at the same time, that's like says maybe that's too close for comfort.
But I've experienced. The other part of this is another minority, they may understand more than I had that part, but I definitely have seen it. I definitely have seen it and did my older clients that I've worked with also, they kind of so there's an older woman, I'm working with an older black woman, she kind of sees me as her or has see me as her Nice. Yeah. And it
Justin Trosclair 8:08
was a youngster. take it seriously. So yeah, so that's a barrier. I think that that bridge is all coaches on that one.
Yes, yes, I know.
Justin Trosclair 8:18
Sometimes these acupuncturist in China, the older people is like, they can't really recommend anything. Because like, Look, you whippersnappers. You're only 25 years old, you don't know what a seven year old is going to deal with. It's like, all right, if that's how you want to be,
you're the expert. And so this is what I tell people, you're the expert where you sit, I'm an expert, we're acid, how about we blend the two and trying to come up with something that'll work, because it's telling me that I'm too young is not going to get you know, get you far. So let's see what let's see what we can do. And then so therapy is really cool. And then all of that is data that you can bring into the room. So if you think I'm still young, let's talk about what some of those hang ups are. And so as talk about some of those thought process, and so all of that is really just data that we can use it and
Justin Trosclair 9:06
you tricky now tricking everything.
We're always taking people, people think,
Justin Trosclair 9:14
well, what is your What is your specialty? What makes you the person to go to?
Yeah, so. So as I told you, before, I got into this whole field, wanting to help out the community. And then someone I started out, I was a very different person, I was overweight, I was kind of living in my, in my culture limited my tradition of over eating what I knew to be normal. college life is already a place where you just eat all the time, and you don't care what you eat. But then I came from a family that really wasn't health focused. So as I as I kind of got through undergrad, I started to notice that by my senior year and undergrad, I was the heaviest than I had ever been in my life. And so I decided I was like, I don't know what's happening. But I'm just going to go on a date. About eight years later on, there's something to this because by this time I've gone through a master's program. And I'm almost we're almost done with my doctoral program. And I was actually doing my internship and post that was excellent. This to this is not right, because I had a membership when I was an undergrad and membership to the gym. I never went. So what is it about me now, that's different than where I was when I was in college? That is so completely different. Why am I going to the gym now, but I was not going then. And I had a membership every month was different. And what I decided and finally realized different was my mindset. I said there's something different about who I am now that who I was then in a large part of that is that I've grown up my mind that has changed my perspective about who I am has changed. I'm learning a lot more about who I am, I realize a lot more what my identity is. And that is what has sustained me rather than what was going on prior. So said there is something to weight loss and isn't not as easy as get a gym membership and go to the gym. There's a whole mindset that happens been a massive shift that has to happen in order for the weight loss process to take place in order for that to be consistent. So I realized with my sister because my sister also lost she lost 75 pounds. And so we began to talk about it. And we said there's there's something that you have to do in your mind. And it's the mental battle that happens every single day. Is is not about a meal plan is not about going to the gym. But the battle that both of us were having was making ourselves do something else. Every single day. It was the part of getting over what your mind was telling you want to say, You know what? We're perfect for this. If I had known better when I was going through grad school, I would imagine and health psychology. Oh, yeah. Because focus. And it's about changing health behaviors. But I didn't know what was happening for myself. I didn't know that because the large focus of health psychology at that time was diabetes and cancer. I didn't want to do cancer. So I was like, Okay, I don't want to do that. But now that I realized, my focus is really health psychology, and helping people understand how to change their health behaviors, so that they're healthier and understanding that from a mental perspective. So while I'm also trained, some
formally trained and trauma and PTSD and anxiety as a psychologist, but on the coaching side of things, is more of health, and how do you recognize what behaviors you're engaging in? that's creating the health problems that you have? And how did how do those behaviors start, and most of them start from a mental standpoint, a mindset so and we learned that we were children, we learned that from our relationships with our parents, what they teach us. And we learned that over time, just by exist in this world environment to navigate the world. So having to undo all of that first takes you to make up your mind every single time to do something different. So that's where the work is.
Justin Trosclair 12:55
And I would think the PTSD and all that stuff would be a good bridge, because places that you could have a grown up, parents overeat, nobody cared. And then you may have care to someone because you were thin, and then something happens. And then you start turning to food. And now you're eating when you're not hungry, getting really big. And you don't even know what's going on. You can't stop yourself
with people who have childhood sexual trauma, in that they eat to to sue, if people who just have relationship issues at the beginning of relationship, the most common thing that people do is eat. And then when there's a breakup, the most common thing that people do is either eat or not eat, drink, or not doing or or overeat. And so there's a huge connection. And so you're absolutely right. The trauma piece is definitely huge, because trauma doesn't have to be something sexual, but it can definitely be something emotional, it can be something so tragic that has happened in your life that completely throw you for a loop and you're trying to find some normalcy, something that's familiar, and a lot of times that go to his food. And by the time we look up, we don't realize that we've gained, we become unhealthy, we develop diseases, and then we're trying to rush to do something about it. And so that's where I think the problem is, and so you're right, it does is the boys are pretty mean at a young age, they could hold I can say something real quick. And we don't, you know, they said that sticks and stones don't work. That's a bunch of baloney break. Because words, you remember that? You remember being bullied when I was little and the things that stick with me most of the things that people said about me not being that people did or kind of try to trip me or, you know, things like that. But the thing that people said, because of how I looked are the things that stay with me. If you ask anybody who was ever booking, the things that they will remember most are the things that people said think that drove any motion, and intense negative emotion because we remember emotions. And so that is huge. And being bullied is huge. In a stick with you. Yeah. The kinds of confidence will become to compete.
Justin Trosclair 15:03
Yeah, I can definitely remember the times you put your foot in your mouth, and you're like, Oh, yeah, that's gonna be it's gonna be like, all right, well, now I've learned and it affects what you do later. It absolutely does. Well, you look great. So you, thank you. How long have you been on my weight loss? or How long has your journey been?
So I started back in 2004. And I told all the people that I need on my clients, and when I go live, I tell them that I really did start on four states, I really just wanted to be skinny, I will live at it. I will make up some reason I really thought out because I was the heaviest. And I found myself in a picture. And I said I've got to do something about this. And all I knew at that time in 2004 was to lose weight because I didn't like when I saw the picture and being skinny was going to make me look better. The more at Advanced in years later took about 767 years, I realized that I was still getting fit. I was skinny, but I still had a lot of unhealthy behaviors, drinking, which I still do a drug cartel. I won't say that I don't. But I was drinking, eating whatever wanted on the weekends eating a whole bunch of sugar. So I kind of started switching up my sugar intake, probably about five as I for about four years ago. And I realized that sugar was what was keeping these anything. Yeah, because I didn't understand. I didn't understand this whole sugar thing. So it so it's been since 2004. But every couple of years, I learned something differently. I learned something different about my body. And that's why I tell people you got to stick with it. Because you're going to continue to learn something. I learned something different about my body. I learned something different about my the way my body works as I age. So the thing that I actually started doing now is I'm excited because sometimes I go to the extreme, I decided that I was going to enter into a bikini competition. All right. So in June, I hired a trainer, personal trainer, because I've never trained anybody before all these years. I've never trained with anybody, but decided to hire a personal trainer to help me scope my body to be a bikini competitor. So that's what I'm doing now. And so I've been doing this since two, whoa, whoa.
Justin Trosclair 17:20
With your competition.
So I'm really ambitious. And I'm not like any other. I'm not unlike any other weight loss plan that you seen. I want things overnight as well. Yeah. So I thought that I was starting to and then by September, I will be ready.
And then I'm trying to tell me, absolutely not. So my show is next summer. So it looks like this is going to be a year of the sculpting my body changing my behaviors and really getting to the place where I'm at. I'm actually waiting to compete. We
Justin Trosclair 17:53
had a guest will we whatever, during the woman series over the summer. And that's what she does. She is her husband are both bodybuilders and I actually got to see him the day after his competition. Oh my gosh, I was like soon. So what are you like 2%? body fat? He's like, no, this is like 8% of like, Oh my goodness. And for her to like she was pregnant at the time. But the picture she gave us I was like, Oh my gosh, that
was effort. Much. Like they lean out so much. And they become so strong. I had just I told my trainer, this is a one and done for me. He's convinced that I'm going to compete with it.
Justin Trosclair 18:30
Once you get to that level your arms a little bit bigger, your bellies not. So in at all you guys this is great.
I just can't I really can't find it very hard to understand now. Oh, another reason I decided to do this is because I felt like I was so removed from the struggle. Like you don't like you can do something for so long. And you're like, Okay, what's so hard about it, just don't drink sodas all day, like just drink some water. And you don't really understand the struggle anymore. And I felt like I was to remove to be effective for my clients. And because I'm an extremist again, I throw myself back into a struggle and what can I do? What else can I do for my body? What else can I do for my business? And then that's when I decided to do so I understand the struggle, because right now I'm really tired of eating playing rice and planning to him because I haven't used seasoning I don't eat sleep.
Justin Trosclair 19:24
Well, good luck for the summer.
And holidays. Right?
Justin Trosclair 19:28
Oh, he thought over that over?
So a question that I would have is when you're looking at being skinny. And it seems that could be wrong in the African American community. Being a little thicker isn't necessarily a bad thing. Like some of the guys like it, some of the girls might like it, is that an accurate or? No, you're accurate and health was not good. But if that's what is a pleasing for your opposite sex.
I think that's also regional and geographical. Because I am that in the south, I found that is definitely prefer to be a little bit bigger. But right now I may be too small, too small for what people may like in the fact. But when I went to when I lived in California, everybody was lean. Everybody was small, skinny, sculpted, and that was great. I do think even I experienced this being told by my family that I look sick. So I started losing weight, I was told that I look sick. I was asked if I had been doing drugs if I had started drugs, or playing that that was a cranky, why new. And these were people that I didn't even know like I went to a football game once it's always in Spanish. Like,
Justin Trosclair 20:45
there's no you don't do this thing.
There's no reason for you to be this thing. And another thing that they said was you're skinny now why do you continue to go to the gym? So the mindset around going to the gym was that you go to the gym to get getting once you're skinny. You don't need to keep going to the gym, right? Because we don't have hearts like forget about
Justin Trosclair 21:07
all the benefits.
But you go to get skinny and then the mission is accomplished. Why don't you need to keep going. Yeah, so it I definitely have experienced that. And people when you go home today Oh, you can eat you can stand to eat the more you probably need. You look like you can eat right? Oh man, that's definitely a South thing to Oh, yeah. You look like you ever eat you need to eat or you're not going to eat. Oh, and then when I do he is the spectacle, and everybody wants to watch and nothing. Oh, and they've actually said this to me? Oh, well, we're gonna watch you eat all of that. Because we don't believe that you're going to actually eat all of it. Yeah. And people don't realize that these things. I mean, we talked about bullying as a child. But these things also stay with you. Because while you think you're doing something healthy for your body, good for you and you feel good about it. Other people think that you are you embed or that you're doing something, right? And it doesn't feel,
Justin Trosclair 22:00
right. Because if you have, I mean that we see that all the time. It's like, I don't need two or three or four pieces of chicken. I just need one. I'm happy.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I just want a little piece of this branding so that I could satisfy the taste, and then
the whole thing, and I'm okay with it.
Justin Trosclair 22:19
You know, there. There was a time when I thought everybody had this. When you get the buffet. You're like, well, I'm gonna make my money's worth all this buffet. Yeah, did you grow up? Or if you struggled with weight, like I've gotten, I've lost some weight, you've lost some weight. But these are still nice. But you don't have that mentality. I'm gonna win. This. Just let me try one on one. And I'm good.
Yeah, yeah, keyword, mentality, mentality and perspective. So once that shoes, your entire experience shift, because you don't need to eat everything off the buffet, in order to feel like you've got your money's worth. And I grew up that way in a family that didn't have a lot of 30. So you went out to eat, or when you have the luxury of eating at a place or eating something that wasn't sort of the usual, you ate all of Yeah. And all of it because it was a good heart. This was our good, hard earned money. And one of the common things that we heard is that if we don't eat it, where the kids in Africa start, and I talked about this also with my clients, and I tell them, I said, so if I eat all of the kids in Africa, still starving, yet, I've ended up from them. So what what am I doing to help them? And how does that sort of that statement become so ingrained in us that we actually believe that we're doing something bad to someone else, if we don't eat all of our food? So it's those kinds of teaching that we have to undo. And that's what I teach my clients, we have to undo all of those faulty mindset, those faulty thinking patterns that need us to a place of over eating, because we think we're going to we're going to waste our money, we're not going to get our money, we're going to have some poor kid and Africa star, right. Although keep us unhealthy.
Justin Trosclair 24:05
And that's going to bridge right into this question of what or something when you're actually having like a counseling session with someone? What are some of the common concerns that the patients do ask, what is their typical hindrances?
Yeah, so So if I'm completely honest, I have to kind of be a little bit clear about how I distinguish these two, and I'm still working on that. And part of what's happening is that as a psychologist, I refer to them as patients, as a coach, I refer to them as as clients. And if you could do both, but I have to make sure that I don't confuse anybody into thinking that they're actually coming to have therapy with me, when we are trying to help them lose weight. And that is coaching. Because Because I am a psychologist, people can view them as the one thing that I do with we're working on, until I figured that whole thing out. And unless we're working on some trauma, or some other deeper mental issue of we're working on weight loss, business coaching. And so when you're coming to a coaching session, some of things that they are worried about is why cannot be consistent. Why can't I stay motivated? Why is it that I just can't stop eating when I know that I'm school? So why don't I recognize my, my stopping point? Why can't I keep doing it past like five days? And why is it that I don't feel like doing anything at all, those are the kind of things that people have now, when I'm working on things, I'm trauma and that kind of thing, people are interested in their recovery, and they basically want a cure. So one of the myths that I have is that psychologists going to cure them. And it's not like going to the medical doctor where we give you a pill and bam, you're cured, that disease gone. This is something that you have to work it. So I find myself in both places, teaching patients teaching perspective, and teaching realistic expectations. Because that's the thing I think that people struggle with is understanding what's realistic, what is going to happen now, what am I going to have to wait for? And one of the reasons why I flip flop between the two in one of the things that I'll talk about later, if we come to that question is that as a psychologist going from grad school, we weren't taught this part of who you can be as a professional, we were taught the standard come into my office sit on my couch, type of therapy, I was not taught, I know specifically that we could be so much more than just come to my account. So I'm trying to still find this phase, where I am comfortable with saying, Hey, I'm a coach. And I do this without confusing the public because I definitely don't want to do that. So I'm still trying to finance those words and find this phase where I can do both and do both legally and ethically.
Justin Trosclair 26:40
Because the coaching part would be kind of cool, because you're actually going to have a doctor background. So you're gonna have rights and tricks and ways to for yourself, like we've done these experiments in the research, I can actually give that to you without you realizing it or maybe let you know to to overcome it as a coach, but you're not still not a client going to that deeper level of finding out like what is triggering you to want to overeat. That's a whole nother Larry, we can you can get into but we're not gonna do that here. Here's this trick. So come overeating or whatever.
And I definitely think that that's what that's where I stand out is because I can't undo the fact that I'm a psychologist, I cannot do my training. I can't undo that. I can't online what I've learned. So I have to be cognizant event. And I had this actual conversation with one of my supervisors. And I was really struggling with my identity and bringing that into work and telling people what I did it work. And one of the things that she said to me is why is that such a bad thing? Why can't you talk about what you do and who you are and the experiences that you've had. That doesn't mean that you are in that you are trying to trick people, the ethical issue comes in is when people knowingly deceive people, and sort of tell them lives into thinking that that this is you're providing therapy, but saying coaching, so she got to help me with that a little bit. And I have to often go back to that. So yeah, I think what makes me unique is that I definitely have that background and understanding faulty thinking, and understand what it takes to undo those. So I'm bringing those to the weight loss, relationship with food setting, and concept. And I hope people understand from that perspective, that there are some things you can do, because I can't, I can't learn the skill that I had. And so I what I do is be upfront with them to let them know, this is the therapy, however, you're engaging in some patterns and things that have gotten you when you are, here's what I will help, here's what you actually practice it, because these things are proven true for people who were even dealing with being raped in the military. And I know that we can undo some of those walking patterns of thinking that are associated with that kind of time. And we can undo some faulty thinking patterns that are associated with the way that to erase the relationship that you developed with food. So I kind of do it in a teaching. So I teach. And then I do workshops and that kind of thing. So I find myself more educating people versus let me get all into your background and figure out what to do that kind of thing. Do you
Justin Trosclair 29:07
find that to look at like a hierarchy, a doctor or psychologist definitely higher than a coach? And so sometimes the coaches get in trouble with what their words are, because there may be trying to be like a therapist, was there any like issues for you to have to say, How do I lower myself to be a coach, when I'm actually a doctor, but like to have that patient client word ej
is so funny, because I actually do think sometimes I am not working in my purpose. And I do feel like sometimes, because I may not understand not that coaches aren't any less than doctors, because some doctors are co right. And there's a lot of psychology, but I found here in Austin, they actually do the exact same thing. So I found myself because I didn't understand coaching. At first when I first started feeling like I needed to, to kind of bring myself down to a point. But then when I realized a coach is just a term, and coaches an umbrella term. And we all actually our coaches, and some of us have doctorate degrees, and some of us have advanced degrees. So I felt like I was not doing my living in my purpose at that point. And I had to kind of stop doing that and kind of just began to live at the level where I honestly was and feel more authentic and more genuine. So here's what I here's what I know about coaching, and in psychology and why it gets confusing. For me, coaching is an unregulated field. So anyone can call themselves a coach was dead takes away some of the credibility of people who call themselves a coach. So therefore, me as a doctor, would seem like I'm entering into it. And for some people, it will seem like I'm taking a step backward, right? So why would you go to your field is regulated? Why would you do something that's completely unregulated? Where any Joe Blow can call themselves a co right, right? It happened in the beginning, because I was trying to find my identity, right? So I was trying to figure out what can I do without ethically doing something that goes and gives my practice as a psychologist? And I know that I want to talk about this, but what can I label myself? Because I felt like I needed a label, what do I need to label myself that would help me get my message out and help me reach people that needed my help with this whole weight loss thing. And that's the label that I gravitate towards. I no longer really think of myself like a coach. Um, because because I think anybody can call themselves a coach. And I think what we do, honestly, it's coaching, if you were to teach somebody how to do a podcast, you will be coaching.
You will be of course, I think we all do that a professor can be a coach, and they step outside of the university. So I'd rather just call myself what I am, and say, This is what I do, and begin to kind of be careful not to blur the lines. So when I'm working one on one, be sure to let people know that this isn't therapy. But I am going to educate you about some things that could be happening for you, you hear some things that you can do to help help progress and help yourself meet your goals and eventually take the weight off that you're trying to get off. So I do on my Instagram page, you'll see that I refer to myself as a mindset shifted, and also refer to myself as a food relationship expert. So this kind of trying to move out of those fields, because I feel like everybody is a coach. Now, it doesn't really do anything. When people hear it, you just sound like everybody else. And that really doesn't help your branding, it really doesn't help you're in it. So yeah, I am working with that to
Justin Trosclair 32:33
know I'm with you. I mean, because it's like, Okay, if everybody can be a coach, what is going to make me stand out from every other weight loss coach out there like, well, I'm actually a doctor, I actually struggled with this stuff. So you're going to get a different viewpoint than someone who just maybe lost 30 pounds on their own from reading books and things like that. But I hope I hope the audience is understanding. It feels like we're on a tangent here, about like just your story, my story. But there's so much hidden in what you're talking about. Because I know, I've had that same idea. Like I wanted to branch out into something, but like, Where does my liability in and begin as a doctor versus just trying to be? I'm just being a coach, I'm not being your doctor, just just trying to be your guider, they're like this, is the law still apply? How much reliability Do I still have? And it does it take some time to explore that,
oh, that to the community that we're working with to be able to set those apart, because that's one of the reasons and that's one of the things that you don't get with the coaching field, you don't have somebody holding that community accountable for the things that they do with the community. So you can hire a coach, and then they're just the coach. And they don't have any liability or any ethical standards by which they're living by. And I think as doctors, we have an ethical responsibility to make sure that we are caring for people in a way that's going to help them be their best, and then that's going to help us practice the most ethically. So that's why I say, hey, yes, I am a psychologist. And if you want to work with me, we're but this looks like this is a totally different contract. This is a totally different set of informed consent. This is a totally different setup. And if you're working as a coach, this is what this is going to look like, here's how we're going to explore it yet. They may sound alike. But here's what it is. And I want to make sure that you understand it because I want to make sure that you're not deceived in any way. And I want to make sure that I'm doing right by the public. So that's my first and foremost, sort of our right.
Justin Trosclair 34:22
And we were talking was shift gears just a little bit, but I think it dovetails on what you're talking about when you're talking like a doctor who's just getting out of the out of a all their schooling and finally finished with all their hours. Or maybe there's a student who's thinking about what you're doing, but isn't really sure. Like, can I do that? Like how do I bridge the two? Do you have any advice for these types of individuals?
Yes. So one of the things that I wish somebody had done with me, was to ask me, and they do they actually kind of Where do you see yourself in 10 years, and we gave all of those interview appropriate? Right. But I really wish somebody had said, think about where you really want to see yourself and take years. And if that lines up with the person that you want to become in your values and all of that I wish you had been more than just the standard interview question or or get to know your question. Because I really do believe that if I had known or had taken all of my experiences into account, and looked at my longer term goal, it would have helped me identify my niche, you would have helped me identify my my pen. And while I did that always knew I wanted to work for veterans. So I knew I was wanting to the VA. But I knew I didn't want to work for veterans forever, or within a particular type of setting. So if we had sort of gotten a little bit deeper into that answer, I think it would help to solidify more of the pack. So people who are going through this and who are common students, I really answer Where do you see yourself long term? And why and where do you want to? Why? And why like that? Why? Do you just want to be a doctor in a white coat? Do you just want the doctor in front of your name? Is this what your parents want? But what do you feel on your panel passionate about and begin to cart that that role be carved out for you. One thing that I also want them to know is that it will change. Yeah, something that you want it to do, they will change because of your experiences, they will change because of your mentors, they won't change it because of the things that you find out about yourself and who you are the company and allow that to change because ultimately, you're going to end up right where you want to be and to be flexible and open to that. And to also be patient. This takes a very long time. And if you think is going to happen after four years, even when you graduate, you're not done. Because you still have to do a postdoc, and you still have to be somebody supervising, and it's never done. So be patient and flexible, patient and flexible. Because he's gonna change
Justin Trosclair 36:46
would you recommend when someone's doing their postdoc, and everything, whatever you think your goals are, put them in the calendar and revisit them in about two years. That way you can see if anything's changed.
You have a huge goals person, I don't even know how I became this person. But I'm a huge, huge, huge goals person. And one of the things that I do with my clients is I have them re evaluate their goals in six months, well actually in a dependent on what we're working on, but revalue with them definitely a six months in a year. So I will definitely tell them to do that. Because if you're not reevaluating your goals, you really aren't sure where you're going and why. And you're really not holding them accountable to your values. I feel like as your value shift, and they become some more important than others. prioritizing your goals also are going to have to shift. And I think that a lot of us I found for myself as a grad student getting stressed out even as a person on postdoc getting stressed out because what I thought was going to be my life was not shaping up to be the life that I had at all. And I that happened because I just knew I just wanted to be graduating and done them. And I didn't go back and revisit any goals. This didn't happen until I have to get on my real job. And I was like, Okay, I need to set some goals, when placing people are having these meetings, and talking about goals for a reason I need to implement that into my own life. And it began to work wonders. So as somebody who's gone through post post doc, I will tell them, write them down, revisit them, see if they still make sense for the person that you're becoming six months from now, or a year from now, if you need to re evaluate those. There's a reason that people have performance evaluation periodically at work, because things change. And we also need to do the same thing.
Justin Trosclair 38:28
Because life life changes the goals I have when I first got out of school compared to going through a divorce compared to like, I'm in China. I mean, there's a lot of things in life that I would not have told doing this with you today, five years ago, come on
now and I got a divorce tooth tiger
internship went through a divorce, finalize the divorce on postdoctoral everything about who I thought I was completely different. Yeah. So I had to reshape my goals, reshape my life, to what it was now because I just wasn't that person anymore. I was not the same person who went to undergrad, I wasn't the same person who went through a doctoral program, I'm completely different now than it was four years ago. So I can't have the same goals. And I've got to understand that those continue to change.
Justin Trosclair 39:15
I tell you what they did in your late 20s. And 30s was way different than when he was a freshman in high school in college. Oh my goodness.
We have to think about long term for people that you have to think about risk, you're going to think about when you're dating, like undergrad and like everybody is fun. And I'm going to do you cut them
Justin Trosclair 39:35
out. So quick, when you get older to you like, you know, this is
just your time sort of become more important. Like you're not, you know what, you're not gonna waste my time Oh, this to them to be on how to do
Justin Trosclair 39:48
it with me. And if you got the goals, you know, the marriage is still in your game plan, then it's like I don't wanna waste
already know what I want. And that's the thing about getting older, I was still people out when people say, Oh, it's my 21st birthday. 15 years from now, they've been celebrating 21st birthday. So 15 years, there's no way in the world I want to really celebrate being 2130.
Justin Trosclair 40:13
Again, that was
30 was cool. Like, something happened for me at 27. That sort of completely shifted me I feel like I became an adult at 2728. So there's no way that I would like to go back to being 21. That's just an extension of adolescence. I don't want to do
Justin Trosclair 40:31
Well, you may or may not have this. But as far as staff, how do you hire the staff? How do you train them? What makes staff valuable?
Actually, this is very new to me. So I was one of those people, because I'm overly ambitious. And I can do everything. I was going to go people who thought that I could do everything by myself until I started thinking. So I recently hired a virtual assistant and someone said help transcribed for me.
I was like, I can't, I could do this by myself. And plus, I have a sister who can do it. And if she can help and I was going to end this family and it just doesn't work out that was. So I had to break down and hire a virtual assistant. And that's really new for me. And I think that it has been helpful. And so I went through a couple virtual assistants. And some of them, of course, just like any other time, just want to work for the money. And then I finally kind of got settled on this one because she was referred by somebody that I trusted, and she wants to see my business grow. That is that was important to me, she wants to see my business do well and wanting to see me do better. And that was like, okay, we're going to work together. So that's how I told her
Justin Trosclair 41:51
she doing for you.
So helping me with my email list. Because we don't learn these things in grad school, right, everything is going to be free, and you're going to do a service for everyone, you're just going to be really nice then and help all the people in the world.
So as she's helping me with my email list, she's helping me clean up my social media, and helping me stay consistent with that planning. She's also helping me with my scheduling and getting people scheduled into consultation sessions, and helping me keep a handle on that. One of the blogging. So I love to write, and I just haven't been able to find the time. So she's helping me with blogging as well blogging and then getting blogging, speaking opportunities from those blog
Justin Trosclair 42:37
post, I heard this trick where you can record like if you're driving and you like oh my gosh, that is just a great idea. I wish I had time to write this down. You just verbalize everything. You can either pay your VA or somebody else to a buck a minute. And then I'm going to do is edit it later and boom, everything you ever wanted.
This is this is a sort of free info. But everybody knows my find right now. The fiber is amazing, legit. Yes. So you can get somebody I did a whole webinar. And I was going to sit down and I was going to write this book because there's a grasp, go to your talk, you're going to right from the beginning until the end. And it needs to have research and it needs to have all these sources to bet it just needs to be flawless. Right? I had done this webinar, the last two hours, I was gonna rewrite that entire webinar into a book until somebody sent me down and they said, Okay, yeah, I'm working on this book. This is my plan is to me, you have a book. And I said, What do you mean? They said you did that their thing on a webinar a couple months ago that you're talking about turning into a book? Why don't you get that webinar transcribed, edited, and there's your book, and I was like, that's the thing.
The thing up, it doesn't take me a year, like I did the dissertation, I can actually do this. And so I think this is taught me to stop being a perfectionist so much into kind of let go of some of those things that I was taught, again, that I was taught and realize that there's so many ways to do things. And it doesn't have to be exactly like you were taught in order for it to be
Justin Trosclair 44:13
and caveat with fiber, if at first you don't succeed, try try again.
Yes, you will blow. Sometimes you're going to lose some money, but you're only gonna be losing between five and $50, which is still cheaper than like hiring a professional that's like 500 an hour.
amazing graphics out of fiber. So I'm super sold on fine. Yeah, nobody could be wrong. I got two books,
Justin Trosclair 44:39
two books under my belt with a bunch of bunch of graphics for the podcast, my T shirts.
So you want to add about what I want to college students to know. And I think, later, maybe jumping ahead of myself. But one of the things that I would like to do in one of my things that I know that I want to do in the next five years, is again to go to college programs and talk about implementing social media into curriculums. Because this is what we're missing. When we leave school. A lot of my colleagues had no idea. There were any What are you doing? And I had them inbox me and say, Hey, so do you have your LLC? What are you doing? How do you do this, and we just don't learn that side of things. And things are becoming more and more one on one social media, right. And everybody is on social media. And if that's where people are, that's what we have to meet them. In order to be effective professional, we got to learn how to do that. And we've got to learn how to work it. And I don't think a lot of us know how. And so we've got to begin to build that into curriculum is great to talk about fraud and to talk about theory. And we need to know this stuff. We also need to know how to make this something that we do that is going to be helpful for people it says they're already there.
Justin Trosclair 45:58
And you can do all of that with out breaking barriers and like ethical guidelines, fractures and all this kind of stuff. It's like it's totally doable. Just be who you are
totally doable. And and I think that we get so get caught up, it's going to be an uphill battle. But I think it's definitely a conversation that needs to be had, even if just as an elected, or a preferred reading or suggested reading. For people who are interested in that, I think that it needs to start somewhere. Because we need to be heard. I feel like as professionals who are professionally trained, we need to be heard experiences, good. But theory and research is also good. And we need to kind of have that to back up some of the experiences. We just gotta we gotta have to be out there.
Justin Trosclair 46:39
What else are you doing as far as marketing that's really helped to grow your coaching and grow your private practice? What are you doing what's working
live, it is such a task. But going live has been the single most successful thing that I've done. And just getting myself out there. So I started on Periscope. We periscope actually started. So I was on there every day, seven days a week, once you were hours at a time, but it was just Yes, I
will be on there for like an hour, hour and a half, two hours sometimes that I had a couple coaches kind of say evidence you're giving away everything, nobody has to sign up to work with you because you're giving away the information. So I did that 2015 I started that. And then this year, I just started to scale back and just provide the what instead of the how, and that is helped. And then Instagram, so going live on Instagram as well. So Instagram, and doing ads on Instagram, and also Facebook ads. So when you're doing free webinars doing Facebook ads, and telling people to sign up and getting people on your email list, that kind of thing. So but going live was the single most important thing, or most effective thing that I could have done?
Justin Trosclair 48:01
What kind of topics are you talking about all these words.
So I will talk about how to enter a toxic relationship with food. I was talking about where to start when you want to lose weight. So common questions that people had, I will talk about the keto diet. So hot topics, I will talk about carb carb cycling, because I've done that, if will intermittent fasting I've done in fast and I've done everything. And then I will talk about kind of some of the basics of weight loss. And were like what you need to understand how to pick a correct diet, that kind of thing, or how to pick the correct regimen, that kind of thing. And one of the other ones that are the idea with another idea with nutritionists, and kind of natural healing person. And we did one that blend it all, we have actually a show on Periscope. Or we will come on every Wednesday and talk about it from each of our perspectives and give nine tips on a certain issue like how to lower your sugar, how to choose fruit and how much fruit should you eat and that kind of thing. So it was a range of topics. So you were given a doctor's perspective, perspective as a doctor and then the other one was a personal trainer. And then the other woman was a natural shields are still naturally from diabetes. She was also a psychology. So what's your endgame? So they watch the webinar. And then they buy a book or a book you for a console or a book means one of my programs. So I had an eight week. So I had an eight week program and then a 12 week program that I'm revamping actually. And then or they go into my smoothie challenge that I had that runs a couple times a year. But the end goal was always to either get on my mailing list, or insert into one of my sign up for console into one of my programs that I hate running at a time. So I had one where we were specifying goals and values. And so I do a webinar before I did that. And so people find out kind of what goals are and then they go sign up for is some of them are free, go sign up for the golf course or actually pay to enter into the four week goals course our E course. But the end goal has always been to come into another program
Justin Trosclair 50:07
seemed like an ascension letter.
What they call the buzzword now is fun.
Justin Trosclair 50:12
What do you use? So I was using zoom? I freaked. Okay. Yeah, I had worked my way up a Weber yet, because free conference call was working. And I bought zoom, the subscription scientists, they use zoom for now.
Justin Trosclair 50:28
Okay. And that says become a profitable supplemental income.
Well, yes, but everything that I make goes right back into the business. So I was not the way I haven't been able to. And I actually am I think I'm blessed in that way that I haven't been able to, I haven't wanted for anything, and haven't needed to pay myself and everything that I should get and just put it back into the very good. And I take courses and I paid for like recently, myself and my sister went to a blogging conference in Miami, we pay the business pay for us to go to Miami. And that was great. So we didn't have to pay our own money for that. And of course, being two and a half years into this. We're still learning how to pay ourselves. But when we need something like we need to travel, go to a speaking engagement, go to a conference, the business is able to take us there. So it is profitable in that way.
Justin Trosclair 51:21
And I'm sure there's mentors that can guide you as well to how to ramp it up a little higher how to offer one on one coaching more
find the right one, because there's a lot of people as you probably know,
they have the best posting to you just need to sign up with them. And everything is going to be great. And then it is available. So yep,
Justin Trosclair 51:41
yeah, exactly. You know, doing all the work and spend all the money and you still like I'm still back, I was like, What have
I learned from you after that I can tell somebody else's. So I probably need to be a business
Justin Trosclair 51:50
coach. You gotta just packaging.
Justin Trosclair 51:55
was that Where's Dr. Haven't seen herself in five years. So
I see myself doing so much. And again, I'm overly ambitious. But I do see myself as being an author of several books, I want to get more I want to get out of the online, I still want my online presence. But I want to pair that with public speaking, being in person speaking engagements I want to be I want to have a conference that runs annually, kind of like a retreat, where women come in for the weekend and get healing and tackle some of their goals and really lead with some really important thing or helpful things that they can start to implement. So I see myself doing that manually, also see myself doing a lot of speaking engagements more on a collegiate level, and talking to professionals. I see myself being a coach, like a business coach, I do see myself going there. Because I've also acquired all this knowledge that I can help other people sort of get to where I am, I've had people inbox me and instead of picking my brain, they entered into one of my one of my programs, I also car this is branching out to to include other people working under the umbrella of my sister's keeper, which is the name of our company, as coaches as as we sort of determine what that's gonna look like, but as people who are providing the services will, so we can hide your own other coaches who work for my sister's keeper, with their own clients with the same shift and mission. Longer term, I will love to have a brick and mortar studio where people can actually come and encompasses everything encompasses the coating, the psychotherapy, the nutrition, and it also has a studio where people can come and do some light workout and learn technique. For kind of moderation or people with pain, that kind of thing. I would love to see that happen. And I'm brick and mortar.
Justin Trosclair 53:48
I was just kind of thinking when you said you wanted to have like a woman seminar. What's stopping you from just having like five to 10 people? Are you when you think some already you think like 300
Yeah, that's my problem there. So not conference and seminar, I think it has to be pegged to the ceiling, right. And so nothing is stopping me from having a conference people have asked me for people have asked me to come to their city, there's nothing stopping me time, because I still am a full time psychologist. So I still have that to do and sort of carving out the time. But I have already written my goals for 2018. And I'm going to at least have to I want to at least have to write at the beginning around March. And I want to have one and then right around August September back to school after summer is over. Because those what I found in the weight loss industry, it there's an ebb and flow. And people are really motivated at the beginning of the year. They're really motivated around September. But if you lose them back to September, you've lost them because Halloween cons and then there's candy. And then Thanksgiving and Christmas comes in very few people, they're still trying to get healthy, but they're not as eager and as sort of excited about it. So I had to learn that I was really bummed when you're clicking people that this is a slow down was like oh, it's just that's what this does. Sometimes this is greater than other times. And so just recognizing when those payments are and then taking advantage of it more I forget.
Justin Trosclair 55:11
It's like August. Yes. Very good. Well, where do you see your health field come going in the next five years? And you've kind of it seems like you're kind of branching out a little bit more than the average person. But where do you see your specialty go? Yeah, so
I was actually thinking about this as it relates to psychology, I definitely see psychology becoming more open and sort of getting from behind the whole, you need to come to an office, and really branching out and becoming more visible in the community in online. I am so excited about the opportunity to be able to create the profession that you want, you can still be a psychologist, and you can be whatever you want to be within their realm. Somebody who graduated. They were psychologists, they were the they weren't on lady guys personally team. So they weren't Yes. So I went to a seminar one time, and they pointed out he was the guy carrying the notebook behind Lady Gaga. But he wasn't her therapist, he was kind of her motivational person. And we can do so much more than actually sit behind a desk and provide psychotherapy, we have the knowledge, we have the skills to be so much more and we have to enact think I see the field becoming more creative. In that sense. I would like to see the field become more creative in this sense, because we have so much to offer. So that's what I see as far as health goes. I think a lot of people are coming into their own and recognizing that I can do what works for me. And I don't have to follow one particular regimen, I can actually do a hodgepodge of things if I want it to as long as it's effective for me, and finding out what works for me, I've been so excited to see that happen for people. And people actually jumped off the bandwagon, so to speak, to say, Hey, I can actually still drink coffee and still be home be I don't have to do away with everything and be this and go to these extremes I need to do was effective. So I love that because I don't like the right or wrong perspective. I like the effect of anything was working for you what's not working for you and was not working for you as it relates to your goal, we need to find a way to get that to something that is working for you. So I think the more people take that approach, I think the better off people will would sort of be as relates to getting their health in order. And I see the field I see people in the field beginning to take that approach versus do what I say do it don't ask me any questions because that that hasn't worked for a new one. Right?
Justin Trosclair 57:36
Well, I totally agree with that. Because some people respond to worse with bread, which is milk versus gluten. And it's like maybe you don't need to be gluten free. Yeah, you just need to be milk. Yeah,
maybe maybe it doesn't work. And this one size fits all sort of approach to weight loss. aged and I like to see that people are saying you know what, that doesn't work. For me. This actually works for me and becoming more explorative in there exploratory in their approach to their health. Because this is we've always sort of let's do the experts to figure out what's wrong with me. But now I'm thinking I was old man. I'm taking control of it. And I really do like, same game.
Justin Trosclair 58:12
Alright, so we're going to switch gears just a little bit here. Ready? I can't even imagine you sound like a super busy lady. So Dr. Have any, if you can take vacation? Are you able to take enough? And if not, what can you do to take more? You know that word means vacation. I actually actually I told them
actually talking to a colleague about this. I believe in vacations. I do not believe in working yourself to the bone. So every month I go some way. This weekend, I'm going back home to my home company. I went to the Margarita festival last weekend. So I sometimes they came from right here where I am because Austin used to be a place where I vacations often. So since I'm here, I take the weekend I go place like shut the computer completely down. And I just, I'm just not plugged in. And so I'll go to Dallas, go to Houston, I go to I will they come to Mississippi, I was going to go to Atlanta, but I had to end up having to cancel that for work. But I'll go to DC I go to Denver and I get this email all the time from flight deal. The flight deal. I don't know if you heard a bit. But they Cindy automated emails, and they tell me about specials that they have. But you got to kind of be quick. I saw one where you could go to Australia from Dallas for $172 round trip. But just to jump on them. And yes, so I do things like that. So I'll kind of look for things. And in
Justin Trosclair 59:35
I just found the travel
ideal. And so I'm planning to go to Boston in January. And then I'm going I'm going to New Orleans in December, Boston in January, Italy in the summertime and then the Bahamas over the summer as well. So I believe and taking a vacation, I don't believe
Justin Trosclair 59:58
the fact that you have three big vacation
across the board, don't let it stop the work.
Justin Trosclair 1:00:09
That's right. I mean, really, you could take an hour and your trip and do something online. That way you don't fall back.
On to grad school, I took my computer everywhere that I would. So I never missed a family vacation. We went to Miami probably every year that I was in grad school. And I would be on the beach with my computer typing in my little questions. And they were always talking about me. But I would get it done because I didn't want that leader in guilt. You know that I have something I need to do. And I haven't done it yet. And now you're having fun. Yeah. So I will do my work. And I would put my computer away. And I did and how would have like a 20 page paper do on Tuesday, and I don't buy into beach on Saturday type of my paper away. And I'm still having a good time. I don't know how that happened. But I made sure that self in on the be like yeah, but self is morning. And then I don't think anybody was taken. So like,
Justin Trosclair 1:00:58
isn't that good? Isn't that great? So I didn't know. Oh, man. Well look, kids, hobbies and volunteering, or anything else out there. What's preoccupies your
mind. Here's the thing that I think is interesting that a lot of people don't realize what girl so I am also a food blogger
Yes, I have a separate business with five of my best friends was five of us. For my other best friends. Were actually food bloggers. And I bring the the we all kind of time to live a balanced lifestyle. But I'm a little bit more into it than they are. And I bring the healthy perspective to it and talk about ways that you can make comfort, food healthier, and that kind of thing. But we're also be food blog when we go to different places where the where the weird people taking pictures of food. So when I get to have a cheat meal, I'm taking a picture of and I posted about it. And we are so food bloggers specifically. So we're looking for food that is specific to different cultures or traditions, food that our staple. And so we're always talking about that. And so that takes up my time as well.
Justin Trosclair 1:02:06
What is considered a soul food
so food that is traditional in a took took who you are and how you were raised. And it's like a staple. Something that I you identify with it feels like home
until it feels like home. It doesn't necessarily have to be mac and cheese. Because from Mississippi is mac and cheese macaroni and cheese. I mean, I mean it was mac and cheese with their protein grains, Port top, smother everything, something that has some fat back unit.
All of that. And then you go to you go down, like I went down to Miami. And I learned that one of the staples is plantations?
Oh, yeah, I mean, things like that, that he feels like home, you go to these places, you speak out these things. And it gives you some sense of what it must be like to live in that culture and why people get so excited together around that particular dish. And so those local Hong Kong we can Yes, we love it. So we try to figure out wherever we go. And most times, we're traveling to state to state but we're trying to so one of our members moved to Italy. So that's why we're going to Italy to spend some time while they're doing some blogging isn't traveling. So we're trying to figure out what different things are.
Justin Trosclair 1:03:22
Oh, man, that's another blog. That's another podcast for another day with that stuff figured out.
How did you get some awesome dishes? Oh my god. amazing story. I'll give you
Justin Trosclair 1:03:31
one. I'll give you one. One of my favorite dishes is it's like beef jerky. And then they fry it up with mint. And red peppers. actually sounds really good. But it's dry it out in the sun. Oh, so it's not quite like reject anyways, call it doesn't matter what it's called, because it's on Chinese anyway. But I thought I call it and it is delicious. And they fried peanuts.
Love Love. Yeah.
Justin Trosclair 1:03:56
I don't like boiled peanuts.
In some way.
Yeah, China, how do you get a whole life balance.
So I am still learning this. Sometimes work is so busy that I do have to bring things home. But one of the things that I've found to myself actual medical postdoc is that I wouldn't work on my computer when I got home. And I was successful in doing that on post done. I mean, when you have somebody else who's your supervisor who's responsible for the book thing, that was fine. But then when I got my real job, I had to work on my computer at home, because there's just not enough hours in the day. So I had to constantly remind myself to turn it off. And I have to really be realistic with myself and set expectations for myself and talk to myself several times throughout the week, and let myself know that it's okay that you can't do everything in one night. And that there is some things that you're just gonna have to leave until tomorrow if you're going to stay sane, or you'll be working the entire in mind because there's always something you can do. So I had to literally set a time and say, at this time, it goes off. But I'm not I don't always stick to that. And it's a constant thing that I have to do to remind myself weekly, you have to turn it off, you have to get some sleep, because things will be so exciting. I'm sure you've experienced this, but you know, you're starting the podcast, it wakes you up, you want to get started on this so bad. Like it's so exciting.
Justin Trosclair 1:05:24
I don't want to go to bed till two o'clock because I'm
enjoying. I'm enjoying it. And then you wake up and four hours of sleep. And after a while doing that you're exhausted and burnout. So I have to remember what that felt like instead of what this excitement feels like. And then how that helps to keep me in check. And so I was just turning off and I put, I used to stay on Periscope to one o'clock in the morning, like listening to periscope going in and out of people's rooms taking notes because everything was so fabulous. And I eventually had to tell myself phone goes off at 11 o'clock. Whatever you saw on Periscope, you can catch in the morning, asked to tell myself that. And it worked. Because I ended up getting sleep and I didn't feel crappy, I feel burnt out, I felt actually more energized. And I was able to go back on my own time, take the note, be able to think about it a little bit. And it actually was more effective. You know, my wife's really good about
Justin Trosclair 1:06:16
letting me do what I need to do. But sometimes, you know, a few days goes by and it's like, Hey, what's the deal? You know? And I'm like, Yeah, you're right, you're right. So then I'll try to do internet I work I don't have. So I try to figure out okay, what do I What can I do this without the internet, I'm gonna do that work on my downtime. And then when I'm home, I just do what I need to do on the internet. Otherwise, I would just kind of do it all at night and not use your time wisely. And then and these issues. And so you just kind of been figuring it out and testing the waters that like
when you have a really hard a partner or children. So they really started to affect my relationship as well, because I was on Periscope all night, doing live thing creating content all night, and my partner was like, You know what? I'm here. And can you pay attention to me, I think you just don't understand this is really important. And I had to realize that, yes, that's important. But you've also got to make your partner, your kids, your family feel like they're just as important as these new great thing that you're about to do it because if they don't feel like they are important or involved in the process, acre really feel like you're placing that above them. And I have to be cognizant about that involve her into what we're doing, and what I'm doing. And, you know, what's your opinion? How can you know, what do you think this would be? How do you think I could help who you think I can reach with this message? That kind of thing? Because it did kind of get to a point at one time, where it was like, is this more important in our relationship? And it's just not it's just not worth it?
Justin Trosclair 1:07:43
Yeah, that's definitely that's that conversation will definitely happen. Yeah, if you're, if you're always on the phone.
That was a big thing. You don't ever just watch TV, I want you to understand, people are messaging me and I need to message them that
Justin Trosclair 1:07:58
is very important.
Especially, I looked at my little rating, like takes at least one day 50% response rate. I was like, well, by golly, I want a different time families people.
Make you feel like you need to be like right there right away. But the question will be okay, and I've had to learn this. When you get back to them. People are not as fragile as I think they are. And they are very resilient. And when you give that to them in a timely fashion, they will be okay.
So I had to learn it myself.
Justin Trosclair 1:08:34
I'm a little nervous to ask this question, because I think you are going to have a bullet point oh, morning or a lunch routine that excites you for the rest of the day?
No. So one of the things that actually hand because I'm training right now, I only have three things that I do and has go to the gym. I write in my gratitude journal. And I listened to I found this one of my friends told me about this meditation. And so I keep my headphones beside my bed. And when I wake up in the morning, I plug it in stock time for like five minutes into a meditation just to get me out of it. But then we all like which one is called. It's on my phone somewhere. But it is called insight timer.
Justin Trosclair 1:09:16
have gratitude, meditations on their medications for sleep, meditations to relax meditations to stay in the moment. They passed from one minute to one hour. And you can do whatever fits your schedule. And that has been so helpful. It reduces stressful, you're going to bed at night to leave everything where it is clear mind get some good sleep, even if it's just for a couple of hours. They went up in the morning star refreshed Ben has been really, really helpful. So yeah, that's it. That's all I do go to the gym, because that's a requirement.
Justin Trosclair 1:09:49
There we go. Alright, so the last two questions, these are fun. Yep, have any kind of favorite book blog or podcast that you secretly love, and one that you definitely think everybody should kill?
I definitely think everybody should check out pathway to will not make me McCarthy. And if you've heard of that one. She's the one who kind of got me started into writing the gratitude journal. But you actually speak thing in his age old but to think things have been happening now. But she talks about in the way that clicked for me that I had thought about it before. It is really geared towards business, really geared towards business and creating business and be successful in business. I think everybody needs to read that one. I love this podcast, the Urban Monk. I don't know if you've heard that one. But it's by pendulums, Showtime.
Yeah, time, and I just found to randomly one day was that about so he talks about a range of things I first started listening to him. He was talking about gut health, and talking about what you could do to regulate your good. So he has things on there about stress and intermittent fasting. So meditation he talks about originally, he's a medical doctor for so. So I guess on who will come in and talk about those things, we will ask some questions, like what you're doing very much like, yeah. And then I have another podcast that therapy for black girls that I love is joy, heart and Bradford. And I love her podcast. And so she basically tackled issue, but you'll see in the news.
You know, she'll put a short talk about modern the this or current events, and then talk about what that means for us as black women and sort of breaking the stigma associated with their health and how that impacts us. And something that we need to kind of start thinking about some of it.
Hello, packets want to drive if we can, I cannot wait the time that I get to listen to a bunch of new faculty. I get new ideas. And it's a boy here.
Justin Trosclair 1:11:49
Alright, last question, because you've been so good with your time and I appreciate it. Any favorite phone app? business or pleasure?
I love this may sound a little bit weird. But I love the cash app.
Because when people are you thinking just pay you. Like
the most brilliant thing I've been paid out with cool, but the app is really cool. I actually we're going on, I'm going on a trip this weekend. And I had to send some money to my arm and ask them to tour and I had to go to a bake. I have to go sit in line, I have to write a check. I just did it. And it's done. And I love Snapchat and Netflix, of course,
Justin Trosclair 1:12:30
is I'm just curious now is cached app not any different than like using your chase account and sending money that
is not different. But my would have to have access to something else in order to get that money. So I don't know I think she I would have to take it send it to her bank, or, but with a cash and I'm still sending it to her date. I don't think they get it right away. I need to look into that. Because sometimes person has a Wells Fargo account, I can send money right to them. If I need to the cash actors. I think it for me it feels a lot less formal. And it's all just fine on here. And then I'll get David this time, you can pay me hand just any cash. Oh, oh, yeah, you can get it right away in some instances.
Justin Trosclair 1:13:13
I mean, I don't know what Facebook and WhatsApp and all that stuff waiting on. In China we have we chat. And we can just send money to each other all the time, I can go to the grocery store. And they just they just scan a barcode off my phone. And it's not a
you don't have to pay with the card or anything.
Justin Trosclair 1:13:32
No, your your your your app is paired to your debit card.
And you just follow some money in there. And then it's just back and forth, back and forth.
Cash on me, and but I always have my own. And if they can just like this the future. I think
Justin Trosclair 1:13:51
I need to figure out this Android Pay an Apple Pay. Because I'm just gonna like I don't know how it works. It doesn't like a lot of places even use. So I'm just like, Is it really worth,
don't you like if I go to the grocery store and here, they don't have Apple Pay on and they have a little machine. I can't stand my phone there. But they need to get some system where you can just pay with your phone because that's where we're going. That's what we're hitting
Justin Trosclair 1:14:16
business person, the business person. That sounds to me like I gotta pay even more money for the terminal. Probably a higher rate. If they use it. You're like, Yeah, it's great for the customer. Yeah, yeah. It's like four and a half percent for me. Oh, thanks.
To put their hand on me.
Justin Trosclair 1:14:37
that's right. All right. So how can people get in contact with
so you can find me on Instagram and Dr. Ebony online? Does Dr. Eb o ny online. You can find me on Periscope at Ebony Butler PhD. And you can definitely check out our website and my sister's keep her.com my sister's keep dash her.com.
Justin Trosclair 1:15:03
Very good. This has been a great hour. Thank you so much for your time and being so open. I really hope that the the podcast is able to bring some more playful people, you're away from your way, and that they can really pick your brain
so much. I appreciate this opportunity. I was really excited when you reached out to me. Oh, yeah, let's do it. So I'm glad. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Justin Trosclair 1:15:29
Dr. Butler, he blew my mind today, going live to one o'clock in the morning, finding topics to talk about all that time. That's amazing. Plus the insights you had into food psychology and how to overcome that. We appreciate you on this show, sharing it all great resources for us to check out later. And I'm sure we all look forward to seeing Dr. Butler's woman workshops, live in person, all of a sudden, those can be found at a doctor's perspective, net slash four seven travel tip at the end.
I've got some things to talk about, of course, you can always review is give us that five star review on wherever you listen, but I got for new t shirts, you know, there's chiropractors, some of them that just like to adjust. There's some like me who rehab and you know, decompression and cold laser things like that. And we call us straights versus mixers, so created some mixed tour shirts. They're supposed to be kind of tongue in cheek over like I'm also the Atlas at remove the DNS. So therefore check that out. Maybe you like that better. Today's choices tomorrow's health book, version two, point O is now out, we got nerve stretches, optimal calorie counter calculators, a section on fasting and a big section on how to budget and try to get your financial life in order. All the things that I talked about all the time, it's over 100 extra pages so get it now bonus my new hot off the presses book needless acupuncture self treatment guy for 40 common conditions is finally finished. It's been a in the works for quite a while stop the hurting with no needles, our meds, your roadmap to self treat your conditions painless with needless acupuncture. It's got pictures, it has descriptions as of course the conditions and I plan to have video tutorials soon as you go to the website and check it out also on the website, but in the top right all the social media icons are right there whichever you'd like to follow me on, click that button and say hello.
travel tip this week is the flight deal calm like she mentioned it is an affiliate site. So what they'll do is find flights from a city that you pick so if you're from Chicago, you click Chicago and it'll list a bunch of different areas like maybe a trip to Europe at a good price. Maybe it's just the trip to Phoenix and then it tells you on the bottom of the site how to book it so that they can get a commission the flight deal calm check it out if you want.
We just went hashtag behind the curtain and this episode has come to an end. I hope you got the right dose for your optimal life. Please spread the word about this podcast by telling to friends, share it on social media and visit the show notes on it doctor's perspective net to see all the references from today's guest. I sincere thank you in advance. You've been listening to Dr. Justin trust Claire giving you a doctor's perspective.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai