Why Are People Reaching Out More?
Anxiety is increasing for kids and adults. The way we dealt with these emotions may not be helping in 2020. We discuss a range of ideas to help with Jennifer Bronsnick MSW.
Many people dealt with anxiety, depression and hopelessness before the pandemic and of course they still are.
The main difference in 2020 covid climate is that many of the constructs they used in the past, just aren’t working effectively now. People are now reaching out to friends and professionals more.
Learn to Say NO
Biggest obstacles to overcome right now is learning to say NO to requests and making sure your mental health is in check so you can be present for others as well.
Holidays Are Approaching
If you are feeling extra overwhelmed with Christmas and Thanksgiving and kids and work and school and a spouse ARGH! … ask them what is most important and special to you that we should do for these holidays.
Your kids may not care about Elf on the Shelf or your holiday cookies. Great, don’t spend your time on them this year. Or maybe you have to have them take the helm on certain activities, festivities, and decorations.
MICRO- Self Care
Discuss with your company about Flexibility with meetings, deadlines and more.
Stop Burnout before it happens, otherwise it takes way more time to recover and heal.
Each day do the small things to keep your health strong and mentally relaxed.
Set a Time and Day to have those hard conversations with your significant other. Do I go to work, stay home with the kids, work 2 days, I need more help around the house, etc.
They say happy Wife, happy Life. Did you know research actually backs that up?
You would be shocked at home many people (especially moms) are never actually alone with themselves.
Strength, Resiliency, Flexibility and how to get along with people you are around 24 /7 now.
Health of Children – they are resilient
The belief we have about our kids ability has a big impact on how they handle situations.
Model as a parent how to manage our own emotions. Maybe one day is bad adn the next is okay but show them the ways you switch your environment, self talk etc to change your mood. It teaches the kids how to handle things via modeling.
Having a routine is important for children including, I have to work, don’t interrupt me for 1 hour.
Would you be surprised that a pet dog has many reasons to support your mental health.
Anxiety Kids – Why?
What is it over the past 20 years that has caused kids to have so much anxiety?
Would you be shocked that Helicopter Parenting really took over after 9/11?
What about the parents who rescue their children and they never have struggle with consequences of actions?
Many kids don’t know how to do with uncertainty and being uncomfortable and that leads to anxiety as well.
With social media you also see children trying to be perfect, what if I fail, what if I try and I’m just not good enough and seeing fake positivity from others.
Showing your kids love and support for them being who they are and allowing them to make mistakes and grow from them.
Keep your significant other happy by accepting them for who they are and not try to change them.
Jennifer Bronsnick is a licensed clinical social worker and also has her Master in it. She is the CEO of Mindful Family and works with BelieveInspireGrow. She has 3 kids, a podcast and had a radio show for a long time.
Books and Podcasts
Panic Attack Survivor Guide FREE at www.jenniferbronsnick.com
Kate and Mike Show (now its ended- but still great info)
Wealth and Purpose
Space for Magic
Anxiety Proof Her
Amy Porterfield https://www.amyporterfield.com/
Show notes can be found at https://adoctorsperspective.net/164 here you can also find links to things mentioned and the full transcript.
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E 164 Anxiety Woes for Parents and Children Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW
00:00:00 – 00:05:02
Episode 164 anxiety for parents and children under host. Dr. Justin trosclair and today. Jennifer bronze next perspective joined 2017 and 18 podcast award-nominated host and best-selling author on Amazon as we get a behind the curtain look at all types of doctor and get Specialties. Let's need a doctor's perspective. We got a great show. Jennifer brodnick is a masters of social work and she is juggling clients at an unprecedented and number as well as three kids. So we discuss these types of things before we jump into a little bit more. Here's a few words from our sponsor before we go any further. I want to thank our sponsor for today Himalaya botanic sneak in toothpaste. I don't know if you ever tried to find a toothpaste that does not have SLS fluoride free or no artificial colors in flattering. But when you do you're going to find out that there are pretty bland and honestly, you just like I don't feel fresh Bowl Himalaya botanic that is not the case. They don't compromise on flavor or performance and their tagline is home bursting with foam in flavor. And it's true. It's that phone to me and like it's really doing something and it's got a nice flavor to it. You can get 20% off on Amazon with discount wage. Old 2 0 d o c t o r 20 doctor in the show notes. There's a clickable link to get you there quicker and easier no trade-offs when it comes to Himalaya botanic. I'll check them out that promo code twenty doctor. All right, check those people out. Now this episode we're going to talk about is there a way to connect with your kids more during the pandemic some of you are having a home more some of you are used to working but can't work or have to work from home. How do you monitor your kids to make sure they're healthy mentally or discover ways to say know why you should wage the holidays approaching. Oh my goodness. How do you prioritize we have so much else going on? What is micro self-care the resiliency of children? And of course her specialty is in society and she's going to give away a free panic attack Survival Guide. All you gotta do is go to Jennifer Brosnan, and it'll be on there because we go into what is created off. Kids with anxiety, what do you do about your own anxiety during this time? So we're gonna go through all of those things before we jump in real fast, if you're interested in all of the books that all the guests have recommended over the years a doctor's perspective. Net / booklist. It'll bring you directly to Amazon and all those books that they've recommended from self-help to marketing just generic, you know, good novel business. It's all their courses and affiliate. So if you're going to get the book anyway, why not get it from the book lists. The needle is acupuncture book is on Amazon. Now it hit number one number two and number three in the categories of acupuncture and acupressure. So super stoked about that. It didn't stay there but for a while it was that said. Net / NAB and lastly wage if you want to get more podcast interviews, if you want to have more speaking gigs with your chamber of commerce or other speaking groups businesses that are looking for speakers or even to get your foot in the door to have a lunch Club. With a medical doctor to get referrals cold emailing is tough cold calling is hard dropping off tri-fold brochures is a bad option cuz nobody wants to read it but a one-page concise pretty good sign PDF that you can just attach the email or just deliver that so they can see your accomplishments and your keynote topics written so that they would care and that their audience would benefit. That's what I can offer you a dark girls. Okay, all the show notes and the transcript can be found at doctor's perspective. Lets go hashtag behind the curtain off. Live from Germany in New Jersey today on the show. We have a licensed clinical social worker. I believe a masters of social work as well, please welcome Jennifer bronsnick. Hi. Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited for this conversation. And my intention is that whoever is listening just gets a little break as well as some tools to help them through this crazy time that we are all living through. Yes, and I don't like calling it a new normal because that's baloney. This is the this is normal. Oh my gosh, it's not going to happen. What is normal? I don't even know exactly. So for those who practice the intro for some reason you talking about like anxiety and depression like hopelessness parental stress burnout. I want to be working but like I can't forge.
00:05:02 – 00:10:03
What reasons you know, is people are dying from physical illnesses, but I think you can be a lot of mental illnesses that are occurring if you want to start the interview with just I guess basic stuff that you're seeing pop up in your clinic before we just sort of sure jump into practical what to look out for and all those types of things. Yeah. What's interesting is that all the same stuff that people struggle with before they're still dealing with it, right? It's just a little bit Amplified page and the positive that I've noticed is that this time of increased stress. So the way that I look at how we cope is that way we can generally cope with things for a while. We use our tools, you know, maybe we learn how to breathe or we have a glass of wine or we talk to our partner and that worked for a while dead. And now this new stressor comes on where maybe we're worried about money or kids or health and those tools that works in the past are no longer effective. And so the good thing with that is that it's forcing people to reach out where before they would have just said, oh, it's not a big deal. I'll just I'll deal with like I don't feel great. I'm not that happy. My life isn't wonderful. But you know what? Like I'm healthy, you know, everything is okay. But now they're at this point where there's past coping tools are at one level and their stress is now up a notch and they're getting this awareness of wait a second. I can do this on my own anymore. I need to look for outside support and I'm ready to invest in that support both time and money down. So I what I've noticed is that more people are calling me, you know, my you know, my phone rings. I'm almost at capacity. And so it's forcing me as a clinician to think. Okay, how do I reach more people and give them the tools that I give my private clients? Because at some point I just can't see any I've got three kids. I've got, you know partially home partially in school. I don't even know it's going to happen. And so I just know for myself, you know, my whole perspective is taking care of myself, so I don't burn out so I have the capacity to be present for my kids and be present for my patience. And if I take on too much, which I think a lot of people are just kind of trained to do that's not going to help anybody and so I try to model that for my patients as well. Like it's okay to say now it's okay to birth. Say not right now my need to do this differently now and that's a lot of what comes up in my sessions is helping people to say know. Who are they saying? No to their kids their spouse their job all of the above Jack Jack Jack. Yeah, so, you know the kids maybe you know, I just got off the call a call with someone and we were talking about the holidays off how much stress happens around the holiday season because of all the things that the gifts The Elf on the Shelf the holiday Gatherings, you know, all of these things that make up a holiday, but that also Burns her out and so being able to say to her kids. Look, what do you love? What do you love about the holidays? Because that's what we're going to do and those other things that nobody even notices because there's so many things that as you know parents we do that like nobody really sees it's like just sort of happens Magic It takes our time and energy to do it and so being able to get clear around that saying no to your kids and that sense, you know, maybe saying to your partner. Look I need some help with this if we want to do this thing this Elf on the Shelf will take that for example. Yeah, you know, you're going to take that on this year because I am saying yes to my life being which makes me have to say no to other things that do not support my well-being and then also with work so setting boundaries and saying look my kids are home. They're in school two days a week. So no, I cannot be on this meeting every single week at this time. You know, it's doesn't mean not if this will be forever. However, I need to balance out my children's well-being and really get clear on my priorities and it's so much easier to say no when you're clear on your values when you're clear on your priorities.
00:10:03 – 00:15:00
Then you can say okay is this one of my top values is, you know, having an elf move around to make sure that my kids are being nice, you know, is that really a priority for me and yet it could be yes, there could be no, like there's no right answer. You know, that's an individual's job to figure that out. You know, it's just taking the time to really know yourself and know what's important, especially if your job is allowing you to work from home. They will probably try to push as much I mean, they not maliciously perhaps but they will push as much as they can to get the most out of you. And so if you set up a boundary where you just push back a little bit they're like, oh, okay. I didn't know anybody had that problem with that. I wasn't unaware and then finally it comes up like, oh no we need to do meetings at 8:00. Right when the kids are just finished eating breakfast and everybody's busy and reading their own books. This is the time that most people in your company could have a meeting and not them. Block Snapchat. Yes. And so what we call this and the anxiety treatment world is flexibility bad that magical thing that you know, what things are different than they were before and we don't know what each day is going to bring and so what we need to bring to the table every single day is the capacity to be flexible and the ability to say this doesn't work for me anymore. But this is what would work for me now off and being able to you know, look at your resources. Look at what needs to get done and say well, how can we do this in a way that both supports your needs and my needs so that everybody you know kind of gets a little something that they want even if it's not perfect cuz what is ever perfect in any, you know aspect of life. But at least you're not burning out and that's the biggest thing. Cuz once you burn out it takes so much more time to recover then putting an a little bit of attention prior to that. So taking you know that time to read the book you want to organize your home which to me is like one of the best ways to avoid burnout is like you just know where everything is like, there's no mental, you know energy spent, you know, taking time to drink the water to eat or vegetable. You know, it's these little like wage growth things that we do every day that have such an impact that I think we get too focused on like these macro these major life changes that we have to do and especially right now, it's just think small like micro micro self-care very interesting. Okay, so I have a two-year-old. I didn't even realize Elf on the Shelf was for a reason other than dead. It was fun and parents enjoyed who enjoys that I thought that was a thing. I thought it was fun because you're a little kid is like, oh my God is the oh, I didn't realize it was like a a fake Santa Claus kind of odd. Yeah going to get you right? It's it's the elf watches watches the kids so that they behave over that's the theory behind it. Oh, let's interesting. Didn't know that Smith and I think like if you like that kind of thing like and that's your joy like them do it. Yeah, if you're like, this is terrible like this is the worst thing ever. Like it's. I give you permission to say elf got sick and didn't move anymore. He well put him in a like in some sort of like a bed or you know, like oh really sleepy got burned out, you know, just you could be creative or it's like, oh wow, like the elf can Xena still see if if he's on the mantle and babe. Everybody gets to like have turned to sleep with them or something, you know, like you can still have those family traditions without causing you more stress, which is what we're trying to achieve minimize is adding more stress. That doesn't bring you Joy and when we're talking spouses some moms have to yeah, I guess patriarchal society. Usually the man's working wage times the women are working more than likely nowadays. They are working for sure. Sometimes they're working a job. They don't care about they just need the money and sometimes they have a real career like yourself in a real passion. And so either way one you lose the money, but you get to be with your kids. I think there's a lot of people whether it's the spout the whichever spouse isn't working can get behind that like, okay, I'll do more of the cooking and the education and the playground and off that thing 1950s Style. Yeah, cuz I have two right now and it makes more sense. But the professional women and the women are like I have to get a break for my kids.
00:15:00 – 00:20:00
Otherwise, I'm not going to be a good person. To them. That was a real. Yeah, for sure. I guess you have to have that conversation. Like look you are still working from home or you're working. You need to talk to your boss. It's covid-19. Or uncomfortable and but you can say I have this fear that I'm going to get sick and I'm going to burn out and then we're not going to have time for this conversation. Right like because once I'm in bed and exhausted and I'm cranky and I'm yelling at everybody. That's not the time to have the conversation the time. It's like when you're clear-headed when you're not in a stressful response was when you're fully stressed like your prefrontal cortex isn't working you're not able to be creative and come up with a plan and so scheduling the time write down some notes some bullet points that you want to get across and then take a deep breath from the belly not from the upper chest and just say it and say like this is what I am seeing in our family. This is my expectation on me. This is my expectation on you and then you wait to see here. This is what I am seeing. So it's not that you're like saying. Oh you have to do X Y and Z. It's like this is what I need. How can we figure this out? How can we collaboratively them about this and there's a podcast I listen to called the Kate and Mike show and unfortunately it's ended but you can listen to all the past episodes and when you do you will hear I think they've done a really good job of modeling how a husband and wife can communicate their needs where each partner gets what they need. So it's you know, they each take time for themselves. They each take wage. They're both working. They work together. They also have other hobbies and interests and they allow for that. So it's not this like fifties-style model of like man work money off. I was trying to not say but saying it at the same time, right? Yeah, it's not working very younger like couple like they're in there like early thirties, I think so I think wage Millennial ish age groups are doing a better job of that because both men and women are working and they're both making money. So then of course like you have to look at different times and historically the kids want the parent that's around. So it's not this idea that like, oh just cuz she's the mom she has to take on all of these girls and she has to be the Homemaker and make everything beautiful and make sure the kids are taken care of and make sure the kids are going the doctor because the mental load for her is exhausting and I think just culturally we need to acknowledge that that that's a huge issue that you know women take on a lot of the thankless job in paid work of keeping the home together which leads to their anxiety and burn out and we also know that when moms are Thrive off When they're doing well when they're taking care of their health that literally you can change an entire family system that like the power of a healthy woman who is you know is magical and so we should all collectively be seeing like, oh wow, if we take care of moms and we take and we educate them and we teach them about self care and we teach them how to be assertive and not be about I don't know if you can swear this podcast, you know where it's like, this is my desire. This is my need, you know, and I want you to also have your needs met so it's not this idea of like if I when you lose yeah, like we like to collaborate, right? Yeah, we can collaborate and even that like, you know, there is just I don't know they even win or lose even if they get the job puppets. Well, I will say this I will give myself I think a pat on the back you let me know.
00:20:00 – 00:25:05
My wife usually was working. We have a dog. Which is 2 years old. We've been in covid-19. Ooo country that we my goodness. I'm working all the time. She's at home. And so we finally were able to get her enrolled into like a daycare and bought it locally in Germany. It's not as expensive. I mean, maybe like 300 for the month. Yes, four or five 6:40, we do three days a week but not we could have done for but I was like, you know what? I'm home on Monday. So I was like, let's let me just spend time with my kid. Otherwise, I'm work all day like I work long shifts. Yeah, and so that was times that she can do what she wants to do whatever that is. And then recently she's figured out like I have a group or she can go hiking she loves to hike and so she goes and like this weekend actually she was like, hey you want to Thursday instead they can speak English and things as like, that's really your thing. Yeah, I like to hike but like I don't really want to be gone to go hike 16 kilometers in a day like this, you know good job is rather, you know figure out how to be full-time dad for the day because that was the struggle was I've never really had to do that. We always had help with her parents and then moving and everything. So like I haven't had to be full-time day jobs a often and so it's nice to kind of make myself stretch and grow as well like how this is what you do with Some days I heard it is hard. I think for me personally working is like a vacation. You know, I love my work. I love you know what I do. It's social interaction. Yeah, exactly. It's that but it's also that inspiration that learning new ideas connecting with new people and that is thrilling where sometimes parents just hard, you know, there's a lot of different Dynamics as a lot of pressure that we put on ourselves so finding I love that you're doing that. I love that you're you know, giving her the ability to have space because we need space by ourselves to like that is I think one of the hardest things for a lot of people that I speak to is that oh my gosh. I haven't been alone in seven months like literally e haven't been by myself except for like maybe the shower in the bathroom and that's a maybe if their kids around and so there are like there's there's that extreme and there are people maybe listening. Like I have never been so alone. Like I have been so alone this whole time like made don't have family. So I think it's just this acknowledgement of we're all going through this and we all have different challenges and that we all are going to need different things. You know, there's no like, okay. This is how you survive Covent like check list ten things, you know, like that's not possible because everybody is unique and we all have, you know, different past traumas different things that maybe this is bringing up different support networks different, you know aspects of our job or financial situation. So there isn't this like magic 123 follow these steps and like you'll be okay. It's like one day at a time you just you see where you're at, you know, see if you need to go on that hike, you know, maybe one day you're like, you know what I'm going to go on the hike with you cuz it's what you want to do and I'm going to explore that, you know part of your passion. Yeah. Um, yeah or not. That's okay. Yeah. Hey girl socialize with your buddies don't have to worry about me at all. Right? Yeah, but I think it's a gift of self-awareness to see you know, what do I need? Where are my coping tools? Where are they not meeting the stressors that I have and then where can I go and find the information or the support to help me get to that next level because that's all our struggle is it's just a calling to dig deeper and to learn something new because whatever the beliefs the learning we had so far is now it's being called to go up with a touch and so like right now like we're being called to learn about strength and resiliency and flexibility and how to get along with people that you're with twenty-four-seven, you know, and that could be triggering if it's not the best relationship and this month. And everybody does I mean there's a lot of bad relationships other. So I guess in that sense. It's a good transition. I'm not sure which way you want to take it we can go with your own kid there at home study. You're trying to get your stuff done. They're trying to get their stuff done. They're asking questions. I mean, I don't even know what homeschool looks like on a computer. They have questions. I need a bath all this kind of stuff. So some of the things I would like to know about our parents what she look out for if your kid is not handling it. Well other ways that things that we can do to set them up. So they're more comfortable which means we'll be more comfortable. Yeah even possibly are there any signs that you can tell if a kid is being abused or anything like that? Cuz then you guys are going to be some relationships schools are out. Now, they have no escape from the alcoholic and the beating right that type of stuff like I guess it's a lot to unpack that kind of see how you want to play with this.
00:25:05 – 00:30:01
I just don't forget. Yeah. So the first thing is kids are resilient. Right, like kids can go through a lot and I have seen like horribly abused kids and they come through it. Is it ought amazing, you know, is it the that internal sense of their own coping tools or is it just one person that cares about them anyway, so, you know you asked about like how to make sure that they're okay. So what I think is the mind-set of that they're resilient so keeping that because our beliefs our kids abilities. So, okay. So the belief that a parent has about their kids ability has an impact on the kids ability. So believing that child's resilient that they can learn how to get through this time that they can learn the coping tools. I think that's the first place to start the next place after that belief. Is that God You have to believe that for yourself that this is a time of growth that yes. It is hard. Yes, we are losing people. Yes, there is a grieving that has to happen and then it's okay to cry and it's okay to be vulnerable and to feel your feelings and let your kids see those moments. But then watch how you should respond to that like yeah, I'm having a bad day. I'm really sad today. My heart is heavy today, but then the next day it's like, okay, like let's go take a drive somewhere. Let's go change our, you know our scenery for a minute and so it's sort of modeling that because they will pick up on our anxieties and our energies around the situation. So, you know really doing our best not to have like toxic optimism that like, oh everything's wonderful and there's nothing bad happening and like this like, you know, ferry sinking, LOL and type of thing. It's like wow. There is really hard things and there are really beautiful things and we have the capacity to bring both of those energies into our home and our family and that we're not the people that just want happiness all the time because that's not real. That's not really that's a real life lesson that they get to learn is mom and dad had a bad day. Just like I have a bad day and then you actually teaching them wage being mechanism music totally Drive getaway do something that you like for a couple of hours or whatever and if they don't have that, I guess what they figure it out on their own, but man if you can be modeled that talk about totally agree. Yeah well and they don't listen to what we say. Anyway, they watch what we do like you can all day long try to teach your kids. Like let's say it's eating vegetables. But if you never eat a vegetable, they will never eat off it just the same, you know, and that's for any, you know aspect of our life so, you know taking care of yourself. So having a routine is really important. So being able to say, okay, this is our morning. I work from this time to this time. They can put a note on the door. Like I love you. Please come back and an hour you could say if this is really important you can call me, you know, these are three things you can do for yourself. So it's really empowering them to take care of what they can take care of home and setting boundaries like it's okay to say like I'm going to read you know, like even if you're not working like even if your kids have school like it is okay to pick up a book like I've read X Bucks over this quarantine. I've lost it launched a podcast. I started a new website and I didn't play with my kids twenty-four-seven. Like I let them entertain themselves. Like they've got a you know, maybe they made Tik Tok videos or maybe they watched a Netflix like I'm not you know, I think in our parenting we kind of have to loosen up maybe something like the things the bad things that kids were doing and say, you know, what like is it that bad or is it going to give me sanity and being able I'm sorry, if this if the dog doesn't get edited it out like we have a 7 month old puppy which we also got during quarantine and I will add to say that that was really helpful helpful having I mean like incredibly stressful in like a little like for about a month but having a puppy and having the you know, the different stress home runs off that you know, you release oxytocin when you pet an animal and just having the cuteness around like that's been helpful for our family. There's definitely a cat for three months.
00:30:02 – 00:35:02
Okay, we're like, yeah, I don't know maybe we can borrow it for a few months cuz somebody was like going on out of town or something. I was like three months. Yeah, so I had cats growing up not to change those animals, but I think animals like a lot of people have got animals during this time. And I think it's because like they make you feel good. The other thing I will say about a thousand miles is that will dogs specifically is that when we are stressed our hormones are circadian rhythm and we have no worse it gets out of whack that has a huge impact on our ability to cope with stress. And so animals dogs make you get up early. You have to go outside. You have to be engaged in the day usually by like 6:37 or they're peeing on your carpet and then so because you're getting up early you're going to bed earlier and so that is really supportive to your health birth. Family, so, you know being back in school, even if they're home, you know, making the kids get up by 7:30 will help their mental health because when kids sleep in until noon, it disrupts their circadian rhythm which impacts all of their stress hormones and creates more mental health issues people will even say that bipolar disorder is actually just option of circadian rhythm as well. As you know, other mental health disorders, so really really important to get into that routine. Nobody likes to get up but that's really it is better for you. It's better for your well-being to do that and okay. So does that answer all your questions? I don't know. So your last question about you know, helping, you know kids that are in danger anything. We can look I'm thinking this way. Yeah, I mean so long At this point honestly, it's like social media because that's where they are, you know, and kids will post like if there are posting disturbing things like you can report wage posts to Facebook or Instagram Tik Tok like you can share and say like this post is, you know, like they have like certain guidelines and they actually have people that will like reach out to the kids but watching like if it's a family member, you know, like check on your family and I think people are kind of like, they're not totally like in the beginning we were like quarantine just as long as like it's not that anymore like we're seeing people we see family like we're around friends. So I'm looking out for my you know, little community and I think that's really all you can do like well some kids phones are cracks they always do and what I say is that, you know, they are still resilient because all kids need is just one person that cares about them. You know one person that they know really values, you know, they're being on this planet and there's you know, so many different therapies now for trauma like EFT and EMDR. That way we can get kids, you know those resources and I think now like not this year but next year we are going to have so much more trauma-informed teaching practices and our schools in that those kids that maybe you know had a hard time during at this quarantine will actually come out stronger because they are then now learning these trauma-informed schools and the education setting that their parents probably wouldn't have known to teach them before we jump into the last part of the interview. What is your opinion? Why are kids so anxious these days like I don't remember kids having heart attacks and freaking out that much over having A's or whatever whatever so what is going on it. Is there any hints as it parenting is it bad dialogue? Yeah, I have a slide and I have a presentation called anxiety proof kids and on the slide. There's literally like twenty reasons for why we're seeing so much anxiety and you lived a lot of them. So if parenting and often times it's it's related to post 9/11 parenting because that's when we started hovering really and a lot of this fear-based, you know kids when we were younger like it was like see you later. Good luck on the playground, you know, like come home at night. Like there wasn't this hovering now kids have phones and their parents are tracking them literally off to college like they don't turn off like you can track your kids phone. Yeah, and you know and parents are looking over the grades like my parents never looked at like, you know, maybe Pay-Per-View come home or like at once a quarter now parents can check their kids work every single Oh, no, you're supposed to just be surprised like hey, you gotta see what the word. Yep. It's your homework. What? Yeah. Yeah, you better bring that up.
00:35:03 – 00:40:00
That's part of its like that. There is that parenting style parents also have anxiety which the kids pick up upon and they're also you know, I see with anxious kids is that a lot of times not all the time but a lot of times they have like the nicest parents like they wanna make sure everything's okay. They want to make sure their kids. Okay, so they meet all their needs and their kind and they're good really good caring well-meaning parents with the kids needs a little push up a nest and you know, the parents don't want them to be uncomfortable but kids are anxious because they don't know how to be uncomfortable and they don't know how to deal with uncertainty and so often those things lead to a generation of anxious kids and plus like so there's anxious but then there's also you know this external it's more than Thursday. It's that this belief of I'm not good enough because of like different social media platforms or you know, I'm not lovable if I don't get x y and z a motor that's true or not. It's just a belief that comes in or you know, I'm too afraid of making a mistake. Like I have to be perfect. I'm afraid of having to work hard and fail. So there are all these factors that play into a kid who you know presents as anxious but really it's the Cure is to build their resilience as well as looking at like you mentioned diet lifestyle factors not sleeping as a huge Factor, you know adding in like glyphosate need to all of our foods and you know, the environment like it's all right, like it's all interconnected and you kind of have to pick like what am I willing to work on WhatsApp? Have the energy to fix right now, but the bottom line is like that everybody has a worry part like the end we all experience worry and we all experience hath fears of you know, being embarrassed or you know, being, you know called out in front of people we work with that within ourselves and then I would say like we also have to work on just giving people permission to mess up more. You know, we you know are very harsh and you know, it's okay to screw up like that's how you're learning. And so to take that mindset of a growth mindset where it's like every opportunities to learn like it's not about getting it right but there is no right there is only correction. And so there's do it see how it goes do it again. Do it better. Learn each time the kids just, you know aren't necessarily learning that or they're not embodying it off. They're being taught it. So it's you know that is and they learn a lot from their friends too, you know, and anxiety it looks different cuz you know, you've heard of the different like responses that the the fight flight freeze fidget, right? So an angry kid could be scared a you know, a kid that fidgets in class like could be anxious. So there's an anxiety has like there's so many different like flavors of anxiety which is why I like I love what I do because there's it's never dull. Yeah. There's always like oh like a phobia awesome. Like let's get in there. I can't even imagine being a kid now with the mass of editing skills. That one person can have like auto shop was one thing and now it's just the next level you could do it yourself and their Tick Tock so good life is good. Like right. Yeah, which then the really solution is like just be yourself just be you like you are enough and that's the message that log. His parents can give the kids they may not hear us but it's important to let them know that you know that we see them. We don't want them to be different than who they are. We accept them for who they are or whatever their choices are will be there for them. So, you know having that level of support while also saying and you have to go to her things like you have to go out there and try and you have to suck it's tough sometimes and you know and modeling that like ourselves that they see us like and talking about like wow, that was a really hard day or I had to do something really scare off today. You know, I had to be visible or I messed up, you know, when we can share that for them. They take that in I think so much more than just telling them like, oh go do it that you find this funny. I was in China. I lived in China for 5 years. If you didn't know how cool for a while. I had like narai pot or something that I would take pictures. Then I went to all these different countries and cities and stuff.
00:40:00 – 00:45:04
And so I gave my mom permission to track my phone so she could know. Yeah just kind of like it's it was so great. Like then I got rid of it like Iraq. I'm just being able to be like, oh my goodness. He's in minimal right now. I'm not doing that great, but it was just letting you know, she just kind of see where I'm at and be happy with that, right? That's right, but she wasn't going to like fly over in the car and like like hey, honey, like are you being safe? No, no it yeah, that's the problem. It's like, you know parents just it's okay to not know it's okay to not know and you know kids are going to fall and get hurt and all of that stuff and so it's being able to be okay with that and know that you'll be okay. So last two questions is one of them is going to be like favorite books and podcasts and stuff like that. So if you have a list of your if you can multitask think of that but I'll start with Monday. So we love to ask the question how to either a take more vacation weird topic now or at least how to keep the love alive with your spouse because so many people get divorced and that sucks so long. Yeah, except for us. Yeah. So the podcasts I told Kate and Mike show wealth and purpose podcast or think got changed to a space for magic podcast. I listen to almost like business stuff like Amy Porterfield is another good one Tara Brach meditations and then I'll plug mine. So the bank approve her podcast which is fantastic books. I love anything by Ken Follett. I've read every single one of Elin hilderbrand books. Like there's like twenty of them so highly recommend that and how can you keep the love alive? So just like with your kids Accept your partner for who they are, you know, instead of wanting them to be something someone that they're not I think when you give permission someone permission to be there true authentic self, you automatically receive love from them because it's like we don't give that to people we like I would just be a little bit different, you know, just change this one thing, you know do this better wage, but if you could just say, you know, what like this is who you are, you know, and I'm going to love you for these reasons as well as the ones that like make me not like you sometimes page in terms of travel. Yeah. I don't have anything but I do have a bunch of friends that plan vacations and I think that you know, people are getting back a little bit so fingers crossed off, you know in Germany right now. It's so close to all these other countries and you know where yeah, let's go. Oh Kim Let's do now it's closed. Can we go to the country and just skip the major city. Is that a thing or like? No, okay, that's not dead. Only if they don't I just don't know if it's easier if it's in America you like I could just go from New Jersey to Rhode Island and there's no like cops at the border between New Jersey and New York. I don't know if it's just a golden road trips or what. It depends on the state. So you have to quarantine if there if the state is on a list and it changes every day and you go to that state and you come back you have to quarantine them. You can't send your kids to school if they know but like God forbid, you know, like something happens like you're still like the whole cuz I was being selfish. Oh crap, right cuz I wanted to go to Connecticut. Yeah. Okay. It's and like I just I need my kids in school like they need to be there in school right now. And so that is dead, you know the priority so until like I love to go to Florida for a month. But if I have to quarantine coming home for two weeks, I will have to you know, think about that so we will say Thursday. Going to raise you want but you can go anywhere. You just can't come back. There was a forty-year-old flight to Ireland and then I'm like, oh ten day quarantine. Oh, okay how much time off and you can't go out. You can't go to the stores for ten days and you get there. And then also when you come home and can't do that either so is the vacation do you have to like wage? You know, that's a personal question going to ask you. Thank you said you have something free to give away to the amazing listeners. What is that? Yeah, so I have it's called the panic attack survival guide and it is little tips ten tips for coping with panic and anxiety in the moment. And that is free on my website at ww.w. Jennifer bronze, b r o n s n i c k. And that will be in the show notes page as well as well as the transcript. All right. Well, it has been an absolute pleasure to have you on birth. Link to some of these authors as well and I do hope that somebody was I think a lot of people who have gotten lots of nuggets from everything you've shared today.
00:45:04 – 00:48:19
I hope so. Thanks for listening and thanks for having me on a another great interview has ended while you're on your phone. Click that review button right up a nice review for me off Stars. If you could as everyone says an industry, it'll help other people to find us when we have enough rankings not to mention. I'll mention you and your review on an upcoming episode. If you follow me at all on Instagram, you know, you only get one link so I use a link tree and so it's a doctor's perspective. Net links with an S. And that's going to give you everything you need to know the top episode a 2017 and 2018 the podiatrist series Dennis acupuncture series holiday 2017 Financial series how to write a review how to support the show like buying a cup of coffee. Is Swag Like t-shirts the today's choices tomorrow's health book. That's the blueprints for Better Health exercise picket food correctly and financial and then of course bundle pack, which can get you the no needle acupuncture book 40, and conditions including the electric acupuncture pin at a great deal. The resources page has some of the products that I like. It's a affiliate lifestyle. So if you buy something from them, I get a piece of that just like on the show notes Pages if you buy a book from clicking that link I get a small piece of that as well. So I really appreciate that things like Screencast-O-Matic purevpn missing letter J Lab speakers provolone Edge or hot grips. Once again, if you do need any coaching on how to improve from your blood work drop weight and not the provolone diet fast mimicking diet 5-day plan. Let me know as well as if you just need some coaching whether it's Health whether it's marketing whether you need some practice growth et cetera. Reach out Facebook Justin trosclair MCC. Of course at a doctor's perspective. Net on the top, right you got all the social media icons that you can imagine. Click your favorite and reach out. Thank you so much for calling and please tell a friend pass it along. You can go to. Net it's just that easy. It'll open up right in your app. And don't forget. I appreciate you listen critically think and integrate them on the minisodes on Thursdays and Saturdays. Hope you're enjoying those. I'm definitely having fun summarizing these podcasts and less than 10 minutes for you. You get the Nuggets without having to waste your time every week off. Well, Sean Smith. off off