Take a journey and see how the right coach and approach can tap into your Unseen Potential. Emmanuel Ayiku brings his degrees, faith and life experiences together for your benefit. Get driven with a listen.
Emmanuel Ayiku holds a Masters in Higher Education & Divinity and a Masters in Leadership and Human Development with a bachelor’s in public relations and a minor in marketing. He holds the nonprofit Unseen Potential (UP).
He started out in nursing because being African (Ghana) the 3 main carers pushed are engineering, health care or business ownership.
Doing a job for the “safety net” “job security” factor is a trap many people fall into. Mr. Ayiku figured out he had no real interest in anatomy and therefore a safe nursing career did not fit into his future plans.
Motivation is a feeling, while a Drive keeps you pushing forward from within.
Discipline provides structure in life.
Sometimes we can hear something important, but don’t receive it and so there is no impact.
The greatest battle is the person you are now and the person that they are capable of becoming.
What sets your soul on fire? Can that be turned into a career to make money?
Going from point A to B will have many obstacles so you must have a drive to get through it but also a deep WHY and write those down so you can revisit them when the troubles occur. This is also where a high power, a coach, counselor etc come in handy to help you process these moments.
We can’t live for the applause of people, what happens when that ends?
Being wise is about taking all the knowledge you have any applying it in a situation or time correctly.
Discover how he can help you with a 20 minute discovery call at no cost. You can reach him on instagram at emanskyhigh4
Show notes and the transcript can be found at https://adoctorsperspective.net/186
[su_spoiler title=”Full Transcript of the Interview (it will have grammatical errors and mistakes). Just Click to expand. Thanks descript!”]
Episode 186 Unseen Potential Concepts. I’m your host, Dr. Justin Trust Claire, and today we hear Emmanuel a com perspective during 2017 and 18. Podcast awards, nominated host, and best selling off drawn Amazon. As we get a behind the curtain look at all types of doctor and guest specialties, let’s hear a doctor’s perspective.
Welcome back to the show. Today’s guest has two Master’s degrees and is the creator of Unseen Potential. It’s, uh, mostly coaching for personal development. But before we jump into that, please head over a doctor’s perspective.net/guide. You can find all of the podcast swag, the books I’ve written all the best episodes of each year, ranked by download.
Found out this show is in the top 5% of all podcasts in the world. Super stoked about that. Other than that professional note, did a lot of scoliosis for two years, and now I plan to dive a little deeper with some, uh, special bracing and see what that leads. It’s a fun crowd to work with. The results are pretty good that people get quite satisfied when they can avoid surgery, so that should be.
Doing house calls, setting up that table all the time. Get bothersome. Sure. But overall it’s okay. And we have some episodes in the past. If you search that mobile, we’ve had enough people where I should probably just make another series PDF to highlight these people because they can really teach you a lot.
It is pretty fun cuz you get to see areas. Area you live in that you would’ve never gone to and see different kind of housing styles. And, uh, people are very appreciative that you’re, you’ll come to their house. So it’s been a unique experience this past year. But listen, let’s just jump back in. Miss Emmanuel has been very kind.
If you hear this episode and you’re interested, he will do a 20 minute discovery call for free to see what’s going on with you, if y’all would be a good fit and all of that. So take him up on that offer. You can find it on the Instagram. His handle is Eman Sky high four. Brief announcement, halfway through the interview.
We do lose connection, but it’s not a big deal and it’s edited up. All the shuttles can found at a doctor’s perspective.net/ 1 8 6. There should be a transcript as well. Let’s go. Hashtag behind the curtain. Live from Lafayette, Louisiana and Bradon Rouge, Louisiana on game night. I wanna welcome to the show, uh, a young man who is just, I think, a strong potential because at this age, to be interested in coaching and personal development and the things that he’s already experienced in life and the.
Sometimes we, we figure these things out later in life, but he, he’s figuring it out early. And so, uh, please welcome to the show, Emmanuel. I
eku. Hey, most definitely. Most definitely. Thank you so much, Doc, for having me on your show today. It’s definitely a pleasure to be here.
We’ve had a few interactions from time to time and you know, I’m impressed when, like I said, kind of say when young people are, uh, involved and motivated and are developing.
Cause you have, you’re in your master’s degree right
now. Uh, yes, please. Yeah, I’m working on my second master’s. Right.
See that guy’s second masters. One’s not good enough for this guy. . Wait, was it a course correction? What was the first one in?
Uh, the first masters was in, um, higher education. Mm-hmm. . Yeah.
And now, uh, the second one is in leadership and human development. So that’s kind of go hand in hand. Yeah. Basically, yeah. .
Mm-hmm. , were you able to actually use your first degree or you just jump right back in? Yes, please.
Yeah. Yeah, so the first degree is what got me, um, my position right now at Louisiana State University as a residence coordinator.
And then, um, the second degree was fine tune the skills that I have and things like that, cuz at the end of the day I really do want to help people grow and develop. But then, um, this degree kind of helps me to realize the barriers that people may face and then help me create structures that can help people to realize things, you know?
Um, So before we jump into your kind of, Your personal philosophy and what’s been your sphere of influence? Because there’s lots of coaches out there and some of ’em prescribed to certain, uh, big corporations and they learn it, You know, they, they pay 10 or 20 grand and they, they learn a, um, a system and they implement the system for other people, because obviously the person who created the system is amazing.
Mm-hmm. . But they’re gonna charge you like, $200,000 for a weekend. Exactly. Literally . Yeah. So they’re like, No, no, no, no. We’re gonna train you out. Take us back. You send me a YouTube video, you have a little bit of a channel there. Would dare we say some, some sermons, if you will. Uh, yes, please.
Yeah. Yeah. It’s, yeah, I do a little bit of, a little bit of talking here, there and things like that, so, yeah.
Yeah, so you could definitely fill your, your, um, cadence and everything in that. So that was kind of fun to listen to. Oh, thank you. Take us back to like high school. Where’d you grow up and then how you ended up in LSU, in America for that matter too.
For sure, man. I think if anything, that story would definitely take us the rest of the time here and things of that nature, but I try, definitely condense it.
Um, so sorry, you got five minutes. Five minutes, right? Let’s go. I was preparing for this, um, what’s called, Okay. So I came here. I was born in Ghana, um, and then I came to the US um, when I was about five years old. So I was raised, I was raised in Chicago, Illinois, and that’s where I went to elementary school, high school.
And then for my bachelor’s degree, I went to Eastern Illinois University in Charleston and things like that. And that’s where definitely my. I went in there and I was majoring in nursing. Um, because being African and things of that nature, uh, like the three biggest things that you can do when it comes to career is doing engineering, being a business or doing something in the health field, whether it’s being a doctor or a nurse.
So, um, since I was growing up, I was like, basically, On this path where it’s like, okay, I want to be a nurse and things like that. It wasn’t until I got to college where I realized that the reason why I was chasing after nursing was, even though I liked it, it was for the job security that I felt like it would bring to me, you know, and things like that.
So, um, so that’s what I was doing my first year. And then it was one day, me and my friend, we were studying for a math, a test in anatomy, and I realized that this guy really enjoyed studying for the test. Like he was studying for one hour and it would come easy to him and things like that. But he enjoyed learning about the muscles and what they did.
I got irritated every single time I had to learn a new muscle. I was like, Who? Up and said it was okay to name all these muscles something different. Um, and it was there that I realized that at the end of the day, it’s not about, um, when you’re doing what you love, it doesn’t matter how hard it is. You’ll always find the.
The drive and the reason why I say drive and not motivation, because motivation is a feeling. The drive that you need in order to keep pushing forward, you know, So that’s where I realized like nursing wasn’t for me. So I began to do an exploration and began to search out to see like what I really like to do.
And I realized that I love public speaking and talking in front of people. So that’s where I did my best in public relation and a minor in marketing. And then I heard about an opportunity where I can be a servant leader, um, in higher education, a master. Um, so that’s what I did. And then that’s what after graduating in 2022, that’s what brought me down here to Louisiana State University.
So as I was at Eastern, I. My Bachelor’s in Public Relation and market, and I also got a master’s in Lead in Higher Education and a master’s in Divinity. And then I came down here to lsu. So your parents have to be proud of this, you say? Oh yeah, definitely. If anything, um, it’s not
the top three, but my goodness.
on. Oh man. Maybe think. Um, yeah, I’m definitely sure like they’re proud in things like that. Um, and at first, like being a young man and things like that, that’s. At first, that’s what my drive was like, I wanna make my parents proud and things like that. But now that’s not truly what my drive is anymore.
Like my. Now was just to do what I was created to do. I am a Christian and I have a very strong relationship with God, and my goal is to do what I feel like he has brought me on the earth to do. And that is to help people to make sense of their life, but not just that, but to see the unseen potential that that lies in
Say, are you the first person in your family to like graduate from college
and all that? Yes, please. Yeah. Yeah. First born, um, I have two little sisters and yeah, I’m the first person to graduate from college. Yeah. Are they telling you to get a job yet? Uh, what’s called, Yeah. They keep enough school don work
Really? Yeah. That, Yeah. And that’s the thing too, is like I do work full time as well and things like that. Like even today I spend most of the. They like doing homework so that I could be prepared for this later on. So,
yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So we mentioned the, the expectations of your family and what’s classically expected of you.
How, how does having like Ghana parents and then that cultural difference mm-hmm. , if you will, how does that shape you? How did that change you compared to like a typical, you know, African American in the area?
Most definitely. I think , That’s a great question, man. You’re, you’re doing a great job at this. I see.
The reason why you have this, like you’re, it’s, you flow so easily, man, and I, I definitely respect that. It’s, I would say like, well, the word that comes to my mind is discipline. Um, it provides structure of a way of life, how to show respect to your parents, how to honor them and things like that. So like an African being raised in America and things like that.
It was very difficult at. Especially when you see kids talking back to their parents, like in my house, that was not tolerated. If that makes sense. ? Yeah, definitely tolerating other homes too. But I’ll definitely say like there was a, there was a way that is like, Hey, this is how you show respect to your parents and things like that.
So I think like because of those cultural differences, like going to school and. How other kids may have relationships with their parents and things of that nature differed a little from mines and stuff like that. So, um, growing up it, it really challenged me and I feel like if anything, that’s what has made me who I am, where I’m a very respectful person and things of that nature.
Because like I was always taught that it’s not really about how much, you know, but also building those authentic relationships with people, you know, at the end of the day, even. You may know everything, act like you don’t know anything and you don’t know the connections that you could build. So,
One thing I was surprised about working in, in Germany, we had, you know, we had African refugee patients and things like that and they, a lot of ’em had a very strong Christian background, uhhuh, and that kind of surprised me.
Um, yeah, I don’t know why it surprised me, but you don’t, I don’t even think about that. But almost all of them did. They were kind of grounded in that. Is that a pretty common thing?
Oh yes, please. I’d definitely say it’s definitely. Um, and things like that, even in the way that, um, the government is structured in Africa and things of that nature, we can say that like, for example, the president would say, he, he’s able to say like, Hey, I’m a believer in things of that nature.
If he wants prayers. Cause I remember there was ones where he had a meeting where he brought pastors, um, from across the world and they prayed together and things of that nature. So I’ll definitely say it’s really grounded in our culture and stuff like, Um, most of the friends that I have who are Ghanaians and Africans, um, definitely are Christians too as well.
But it definitely, it definitely helped, you know, and that’s the thing that, um, as I was doing research, because when I got my first master’s, one of my research was, um, how do college Christian student leaders discover their purpose in life? And we realized that religion did play a role in so that when times get rough, they reach out to a higher power, if that makes sense.
And I realized that even. Or the other literatures that were presented. We found out that at the end of day, even though people didn’t believe in God, there were some people who didn’t believe in God. They believed in another form of high power because at the end of the day, we human beings, we get to the place where.
Our hands can only reach so far. Then now we’re like, okay. That’s where you’ll see movies, where they’ll look up to the sky. Like if there’s anybody up out there who is listening to me. Mm-hmm. , please make it easy, and then all of a sudden something happens. I think that there is this desire within human beings to explore the unknown, you know, and things like that.
You know these, they have college groups of like the Baptist Ministry and different, different kind of ministries. You always have to like have a leader cuz it’s a college group. I ended up being the president for like two years of the one that I was part of. Oh wow. Two years.
Yeah man. Yeah. You know how that Well definitely.
So how was that? How was that? Any, any ain’t being the leader. You know,
it was, you know, it was different. It was back in 2002, 2003, so, gosh, that’s 20 years now. That’s kind of crazy to think. And you know, back then we put on a lot more events. You know, we would meet every, every weekend and we had a building, so we had like volleyball and we had food and tried to appeal to like the college kids of what they would need and, and sports and fun and, and just tried to have a good career fun instead of going to the bars and hitting that up.
We just tried to have a lot of activities
We. So, So a question for you, right? A question for you. Do you feel like, do you believe that there’s a difference between the young people of then and the young people of now? Like, do you feel like they struggle with the same things or they struggle with different things?
I think they probably, core stuff is the same. Mm-hmm. , I think now, like you just can’t, you almost can’t have an opinion about certain things. Ooh, okay. Right. Like there’s some pretty fundamental things you could think of as far as like if you’re a conservative or, uh, you know, quote Republican or Christian or whatever, I guess those all three sort of get thrown in the bag.
Yeah. Together sometimes, you know, if you feel a certain way, like you really can’t talk about it, and you get shut down and you can have, you know, there’s, can be repercussions. So you just gotta be careful with what you say. Sometimes if you don’t agree with, you know, everything else that’s going on. Um, and I don’t know how they, they handle that.
You know, we’re called in a sense to be different and to be able to stand out. And it’s pretty hard to do that in general. Mm-hmm. . But to take a stand for God in a, in a university setting is, it’s pretty difficult if, if everybody else is, is not mm-hmm. what? So, and you still wanna fit in, you still want friends, you still don’t wanna be looked at us like that weird guy where you homeschool and the most conservative.
Yeah, I definitely see what you’re saying. Yeah. Yeah. You
just, you know, you’re trying to reach out to people, but you can’t be too push. . So it’s always that struggle of like, should you say something, do you not? And then now especially like you can be anything you but a Christian opinion, it seems like a lot now too.
Yeah. So sometimes you just have to believe by example. Mm-hmm. . And it might be a quiet example. You don’t maybe have to boast it out loud cuz once you do then um, then you kind of silly. But like, cause I’ve always been be the example, if they ask, you can sell and then like, Oh, you’re a cool guy, yada, yada, yada.
Oh, oh, you’re a Christian too, You. Yeah, that’s why I do X, Y, and Z. That’s why I have these attributes that I try to portray off the cuff answer with a bunch
of ums in it. Oh, no, no, for sure. If it’s, if anything like I, I thank you for saying that because I feel like that is definitely something that our generation is truly dealing with.
I think. Like it’s this thing where we truly don’t wanna face what the truth is and things like that think like sometimes we want to hear the truth, but we are really not ready to dissect it, nor to we can hear it. Like the question is, is all hard in the place where it wants to receive it. Cuz I can hear something but not receive it into my heart and things like that.
So sometimes because of that, instead of hearing the truth, it’s like you shun it out, you know, where you don’t want to hear it at all and things like that. But at the end of the day, I truly believe like truth is truth and truth speaks for itself and things like that. And there will come a time where like at the end of the.
Because just I, I feel like could say, definitely Scripture says no one likes a candle and hides it under like a pod or something of that nature, but they said it high, you know, and things like that. So at the end of the day, even though light and the way I see light is that light is knowledge, right? And even though this light brings illumination to a dark space, not everyone that is in this dark room or in this dark space wants to see this.
because some of them love to dwell in darkness. I think it was, there was a philosopher who said that it’s, it talked about like a cave theory where there are a bunch of people who were stuck in a dark cave, but all of a sudden one person was able to escape and they saw a light at the end of the tunnel.
But the people that was in the dark cave, all they saw was the light at the end tunnel, and they saw shadow. They always wanted to go and see what was in the light, but they were afraid of exposing themselves, if that
makes sense. So, you know, I’ve, I’ve grown from being kind of stomped in certain things and having a list of, Hey, you can’t do X, Y, and z.
During curse, don’t get drunk. I’m not saying you can’t drink, but just don’t get drunk. You know, there’s certain things that are like pretty straightforward in the Bible and it seems like these days, ah, you know, you kind of take what you want, do what you want, whatever makes you feel good, whatever’s your truth.
Oh man. Uh,
but one thing I’ve kind of got to is you can’t expect the expectation of other people based on your views on life. Like, okay, you’re a very strict Christian. Okay? Well, all your pe, these people in your class, whatever, they don’t believe the same thing that you believe. Mm-hmm. , whether they’re Christian or not.
So it’s hard for you to be like, Well, I can’t believe they would Uhhuh do this, this, and this. And you’re like, Why wouldn’t you believe that? They don’t have the same convictions as you do? Like, stop expecting someone to act like you and you don’t even do it good either. , That’s true. You know, we don’t even meet our own expectations in our own rules in our own head.
We break those. I think that’s helped me be a lot less like judgey. Mm-hmm. most definit. You know, from when I was young until now, just like realizing that everybody has their own walk and you can’t expect someone to believe the way you believe. Mm-hmm. . Especially if they don’t even believe in God at all.
Exactly. Yeah. That’s definitely All right. Let’s see here. So your business name is called Unseen Potential Up for Short, and it’s gonna be probably a non-profit. Yes. You mentioned, and we mentioned earlier, kind of about the pillars of your theory. And how you wanna approach people in, in their personal development.
What does that look like to you? Where’s your influence from somewhere to want to explore something with you? What kind of problems would they be coming with you from? And then how do you go out? Okay. That’s a lot of questions, so pick it as you will and we can always, uh, we’ll drill down more and we’ll probably expand based on whatever you say.
Okay. That’s definitely, I definitely say like, like my influence for this definitely came when I was doing my, um, first masters at East Illinois Univers. Um, I remember like, I was praying and, um, an image came into my mind where, um, and I, it’s called, like, if you look it up, it’s called the, the, the self-made man.
Right? Um, if you go online right now, you look it up, you see, it’s basically a, a sculpture of a man’s sculpting himself, right? Like, after I was thinking about it and looking at this image, what came into my mind is that there’s a quote at Coach Jay said. She said that the greatest fight that a human will ever.
Is between the person that they are now and the person that they’re capable of becoming. And that’s where it truly hit me, that at the end of the day, the future you, um, and of where you wanna be. Because understand that at the end of the day, success in life is not about what you obtain, but who you become.
Right? And why is, why is it that we say this, right? Because the thing is that I truly believe that everybody can be success. But more than that, I believe that there are only a few people who are able to maintain the success that they have obtained. Does that make sense? I can give you a million dollars today and that makes you successful, right?
You if money is what brings value to your life, you’re
like, Okay, yeah, say it depends on what you can define as successful. Because it changes through our life. When you’re younger, it’s usually money. Most definitely as you get older, it’s your family. If you’re smart, , in my opinion, hey, that’s my opinion, I’m definitely, and then at the end, it’s like a
Say no more say so. If made me think, Okay, so let’s say like you’re a young person and um, I give you money. You feel like, okay, I am successful. Let’s take, make it better yet, let’s say whatever it is that you desire to have. But we use money as a value because I feel like that’s something that’s tangible that we can all relate to once upon a time.
Everybody wants Oh yeah. Everybody wants more with that. And that’s the thing is like even when you give. , you’re still not even satisfied with the more that you have, Let’s look at Jeff Bezos for an example, but that’s the whole
say the same name. What’s enough ?
That’s, that’s another conversation that day.
So you, So I give you a million dollars. You are a millionaire. You are a millionaire. But that doesn’t make you want, if that makes sense. Like you were given. But you didn’t, You don’t know how. So if you lost the money today, you don’t know how to, You can’t get it back again, if that makes sense. And that’s what Unseen Potential is focused on, is that you’re here at point A and you’re trying to get to point B.
Between point A and point B. There’s a process that you have to go through, and as you go through this process for you being in there, all you see is the pain, the weighting, the frustration. The irritation and how long it’s taken. But for someone who is standing outside and not in doing it with you, be able to see your growth and how you are changing and developing.
So my focus with unseen potential is not just hey, getting you to point B because at the end of the day you will get to point B, but to make sure that you don’t cheat through the process so that when you get to point B you’re not able to maintain that success.
So you’re more mindset, so you’re not trying to coach people and like, Hey, you should go out there and do real estate.
Or, All right, put your 12 years in to be a doctor. You’re gonna work hard, you’ll get your money and then you’ll be at point B. You’re talking about like the, the mental aspect of everything to where no matter what you’re choosing to, Cuz let’s be honest, not everybody needs to go to college. Exact, Oh, you can make a ton of money just slinging a hammer and fixing a plumbing, man, that’s a strong, I’m a big believer these days that, man, it’s a skill that you need in 40 bucks an hour.
That’s pretty good for most people, man. So, yeah. So anyway, but that’s, I was saying if you’re gonna be a plumber, maybe go to school so that you can cut your learning curve down, start in the real world a little bit higher up, and then if you feel like you have the entrepreneurial spirit in a couple years, whatever, then you can have your own.
and then hire your own people and do your own marketing and never be able to take a vacation. Oh, wait, that’s not the poll. . But, uh, you know, sky’s the limit. And it’s not to say that everybody’s entrepreneurial. But the fact that you could be, to me that’s still, that’s point A to point B. And if, like, if you had a dream of like not working for the man one day mm-hmm.
well you gotta have somebody in place to show you where to go from there, I would think. What steps do you have to take so that you’re prepared for those big jumps?
Cuz it’s scary. Oh yeah, definitely. Definitely. It is scary. And what’s, and I think like even there’s something that you said I feel like is very important for us to touch on is just the concept of, cuz I went to the dentist, um, to go get my teeth.
And then I, I needed a few work done and stuff like that. And then after they gave me an estimation of everything, I was like, Oh, okay, it’s about to be 1500. It came up to about $5,000. It was there in that dentist chair while I was sitting there and the dentist was looking at my teeth that I began to become upset.
That why is it, Why does it cost so much just for my T2 people? So I went online and I searched. And they said like all the tools and everything that, that it takes for the dentist to do it. And I was like, in my mind, I thought about, Man, I wish I lived back in the time where, let’s say I was a plumber and I was really good at it, and the dentist, you needed plumbing done.
You will pull my teeth for me and I will come home and do plumbing for you. Right. And it was there in that moment that I really, You gonna need a lot of plumbing? Oh yeah.
shit. Hey, Literally, if anything then I, I think we will, the end, the 5K probably is not enough. Maybe 10 K. So that, that’s where it hit me. Like, man, like at the end of the day, I feel like sometimes what hinders people, which hindered me at the same time. That sometimes people don’t chase towards what they know.
Lights dumb on fire because there’s a quote that says, Do what Lights your soul on fire. They don’t chase after that because society has put, Okay, as an artist you make this much amount of money as a doctor, you make this amount of money and things like that. So because of that, instead of people chasing that, which lights their soul on, They’re chasing security, which is founding money and things like that.
And like I’m a prime example of that. You know, I wanted to be a nurse, so everything I was doing from high school till I got to college was to prepare me so that like get the nursing job and I make money and I have security. Right. But it was there that I truly realized that at the end of the day, it was something that Martin Luther King.
He said that if you are a brew sweeper, if that’s all your job is, and you, your job is to sweep the floor, sweep the floor so good that if they’re looking for someone to sweep the floor in the White House or somewhere or anywhere, they will come looking for you. And that’s the truth about it. At the end of the day, money is not something that I believe is as a young man growing up in this generat.
We’re talk chase the bag. Chase the bag. But I’ve realized that when you start chasing towards your purpose, your purpose, add value to you, Apple never goes, comes to your house. Even with the new iPhone that’s coming out, man, I, I have friends who have already ordered it. He ordered it yesterday and came to his house today.
Like Apple never come to your house and knocked on your door and said like, Hey, we have a new product out. You should buy this. They have a store, if you want to go buy it, you go and buy it because why? You see the value that it’s in it. And that’s the same thing for when you are trying to find what you’re created to do or fi like find that thing that sets your soul on fire and the people that see the value in it, it attracts them to it and things like that.
So no longer do you have to cha don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying like, Oh man, you don’t have. Put in work, like for example, like with the relationship that we’ve built and stuff of that nature, but it’s not something that I was like, was the word I was chasing after bag. Like, Oh, I’m like, Oh, if I don’t get paid, I’m not doing it.
And things of that nature. But it’s because this is what I love to do, you know? And at the end of the day, my goal is not to impact the life of a multitude like a hundred people. If I could just impact one person’s life, that’s where I, for me, that’s where I know. I’m satisfied and I’ve done what I’ve been created to do.
And I know that being faithful in that small thing of just seeking to impact one person’s life by God’s grace, seeing how that has grown. You know, Cause imagine if you’re a pair of scissors and all you do is put butter all your life, all you did was put butter on bread. You would. You did not what you were created to do.
Even though you put butter on bread for a million bread, get stills, you’ll be feeling inside. Like, man, something doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m in for. Right, because you never cut a piece of paper. That’s what you were created to do. To cut, to cut a piece of paper, you know? So even if you cut one piece of paper, you feel fulfilled.
And even there’s great opportunity that you gave me just to be on your podcast and just talk about this. I feel fulfilled, you know, and things like, That’s why I truly appreciate you for doing that. Thank you, Dr.
Test. You betcha. Here’s the thing. Some people say you could do anything you want. You just gotta try hard and follow your passion and.
Guess what? You may not, you might have all the passion in the world to be a carpenter. You might have went to school, you, you passed, but man, you just can’t level, You can’t make the pattern, the, uh, the five star, whatever they call ’em, the, uh, master carpenters looking at your stuff like, Bro , I know this is your passion and your calling and your grandpa did it, and your dad did it, but dude, you are terrible.
And it’s been three years. Like you still suck. Oh man, Uhhuh like, I need to fire you. Like at some point your passion, you may not even be good at. or sometimes you are, you’re, you know, so you have to give up the dream. You’re like, I can’t be a carpenter. I’m just really bad. Now what do I do when you’re, you’re, you’re shattered on the inside cuz that’s what you thought you were supposed to do.
And other times you find something that you’re like a nursing, you might have gone through it, you liked it enough, you had the security. But then there’s still that power of like, there’s something else out there. And then you slowly develop into this personal coaching mm-hmm. . And, and then you figure out this unseen potential and that becomes your side.
And then you can put all your energy into that, but you’re paying the bills and then eventually the dream is unseen, potential overcomes the nursing, and then you finally give it up and now you have a full blown business. Uhhuh, what are your thoughts on that kind of thing? Yeah, I’ll definitely say for that.
Well, I hear you saying is like at the end of the day you’re trying to do something and you’re not sure like, man is this, I’m doing all my best and I know that this is what I’ve been, um, I want to do and I’ve been created to do. This is what lights my soul on fire. At the end of the day, that’s the thing that separated the guy who loved nursing for me, who wanted it from security, he enjoyed doing it.
Right. Look at Kobe Bryant for example. They said, he said that at the 18, 13 years old, it was then that he made the decision that he was going to pursue after basketball. And, but he still could have been bad. He, he still could have been bad. Yes. That issue. And even he, Cause there’s lots of
people that played just as much as.
And are just not good uhhuh.
Hey, most definitely. And if anything, that’s, What do I do with that? That’s where, that’s where you and I, because, um, in, in the research that I did, one thing that we realized is that a human being goes on a search when they come to the place where they begin to realize like, Okay, I’m not enjoying this thing.
Like I did nursing. I’m trying really hard, but I’m not really doing that well and I’m not really enjoying it. Oh, okay. So what do I do now? Now I’m an undecided college. And I’m in panic mode. Why? Because I feel like I should be doing something realized. There’s human beings need to have meaning ev, they need a drive, something to drive them, you know?
And that’s what they call the why, because if you don’t have a why, like when life gets tough, you’re not able to keep moving for it. So that began my search. So you gotta write that stuff down. Oh, hey, for sure. Wait, you, wait, say it again? You have to write what down
Your why. All these little, these little catch phrases and everything.
If you don’t write that down in three years and two months, you’re not even gonna remember what was my why back then. Exactly. Because the weeds get thick.
Yes, yes. Oh my goodness. And, and the, and just even to touch that, like, the reason why you write your why down is because anyone that has done anything, even looking at you, doc, um, doc.
Going to, um, chiropractic school. I hope that’s what they call it. My apologies. But it is, it is. It’s not easy. So long nights of studying, you know, and things like that, when you first begin, it’s like, Oh man, like I’m going to do this. But what you realize is remember point A to point B in between, that is a journey.
And during that journey, there will come many forces to test the authenticity of your dream, right? And that’s the reason why Eric Thomas said that pain is temporary. , it will last for a minute or an hour a day or even a year. Eventually, it will subside and something else will take its place. When you push through the pain as necessary, that’s the reason why it’s important for you to have someone in there with you and for some people, that’s where religion comes into play.
That could be a higher power or that could be a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, someone that you trust to a counselor. A counselor or a therapist, someone to help you make sense of the nonsense. That is happening to you. So for example, let’s say if you were my client, this is the place where we’ll truly begin.
I’ll begin to ask you questions like, what do you feel like the struggles are? Are you really enjoying what you’re doing? Like do you feel like, Like what, what? What are some of the barriers that you see in front of you? So during this time, like there are a lot of opportunities. So when I decided not to do nursing anymore, and I started a search of what to do, the first thing that I did was I went to my friends and I asked, If there was any career that you would see me doing, what would you see me doing?
And they said, I would see you public speaking. And that was one thing that I found literally literal if if there was anything you would see me doing that I was not being, what would you see me doing? And they said, I would see you doing public speaking. So now I began to search. Remember now I’m looking at the college and I’m looking at.
What can I do? So I went to the career service center and my institution could test, and it said the same thing, public speaking leadership, things of that nature in that area. So I was like, Okay, what degree do I get for public speaking? Yeah. Cause that’s a broad statement. That is broad as ever. So it took me to communications, our communication department, and that’s why I decided to do a.
Bachelor’s in public relations, right? So I knew that this is the direction that I was going in, but I didn’t know the complete end goal, if that makes sense. Like I knew like, okay, at the end of this, I want to be public speaking, right? But as I, What does that mean being a preacher? Um, no not being a preacher, if anything, but that, that’s an easy way
where you could have gone, Well, believe in God, I got a power for that.
I need to go public speaking. Well, I guess I should be a preacher. Oh man. . You know what I mean? Like, like some people would connect. That’s the only option. Oh, say no more. Definitely doing God’s will now. And it’s like, no, you can, you can honor God in everything that you do. You know? Was that there’s a verse.
Do everything you do as if the master’s
watching you. Uhhuh if if do everything ice onto the Lord. Exactly. Exactly. Cause at the end of day it, and it’s just like what you’re seeing the, and I think that this is a problem that our society has as well, is that everybody wants to shine as bright as the sun, but not everyone understands that the sun shines in the day and the moon shines in the night.
Everyone wants to be seen. It’s like everyone wants to be the moon, but no one wants to be the little stars because they’re unseen. Right. Um, because at the end of day goes back to what we were talking about, is about the value that people feel like they bring, They, their gifts is based on the applauses that they receive and what they do.
Mm-hmm. . In order for you to die to that part of yourself and truly seek after what is meaningful to you in your life, you have to stop being a people please. You have to, if you live for the applauses. When the applauses stop, what happens to you? A, a fish. I tell people this all the time. A fish doesn’t swim because is doing it because you like it or it’s for your enjoy.
They’re like, Oh, somebody’s watching me. Let me start swimming. Nah, a I say, because it wants to stay alive. If a fish stops swimming and we see a fish just sitting, Like, we’ll probably think it’s what, It’s death. That’s why you, that’s why you’ll tap your, um, that’s why you’ll tap your fish tank because you think like the fish is dead.
You know? So I, I think, I believe the same thing for human beings at the end day. You can’t be living for the applauses of people because if you’re living for the applauses of people, you think like the value is found in them, if that makes sense. And that’s not truly the truth.
My Skype just completely removed and I was like, I didn’t touch anything.
Oh. Do you know
where you’re at? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, um, yeah, like, just talking about not living for the applauses of people, you know, And that can be your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your, any, anyone that you hold to high esteem, you know, and things like that. We don’t do things to be seen. We do it because that’s just who we are, and that’s what you have to find.
What do you do? That is just who you are. And I’m not here to say being a doctor, being a nurse, shooting to be a ceo. That’s the bad thing. In everything that I do, I, I strive to be the best thing. What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be seeking for these things because you’re seeking for attention.
Because if you make it there and you don’t get the attention that you feel like you deserve, it may hinder you from doing what you like. That’s where you get up to and be like, Oh, this I did for you, . You’re, you’re unhappy trying to make somebody else happy and dear, unhappy, so now you’re frustrated. You know?
So, yeah. People say
stuff all the time, like, uh, what, what do you do? You’re car. Well, I’m a chiropractor, but like, that’s not who I am. Uhhuh , and there are chiropractors where that that is all they are. That’s their entire identity is wrapped up In that case in point, living in China for five years, most of the time when people hear they, they’re like, Whoa, what?
Uh huh. What, And so I was interviewed one time by a guy, uh, Dr. Tyson, that some of that podcast really was. Every year I would, my contract was up for renewal and the wife and I were chatting like, Are we fulfilled? Are we doing the things we want? Do we feel valued? Are we in our heart? Are we here for the right reason?
Uhhuh, part of it was definitely vacationing and got to see, I don’t know, like 14 countries in that area. Oh, wow. So, We did, we traveled a lot. And then at one point the traveling got to started slowing down and then we had a kid and all this kind of stuff. And so life, life goals changed, work changed a bit.
It got kind of sketchy, a little, not sketchy, but just not, it wasn’t what it was and like before it was things were changing. Mm-hmm. and um, so we were just like, you know, I think it’s time. I think it’s time to go, go while it’s good if we wait another year. If it doesn’t turn around or if the, you know, you see riding on the wall, you wanna leave on good terms, you know, you don’t wanna be bitter and then be like, Oh, paint.
Paint the whole, the whole time. As bad at when that happens. So we exactly made that decision. That’s where we left. I’m sure people are like, Dude, that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. , who lives in China, You don’t speak to language. You know, I could tell you some craziest stories cuz they’re good stories cuz it’s kind like, it’s kinda like culture shock and the other end you’re like, they’re all just people with the same goals and passions that we are, They’re just, they have a little bit different, you know, view.
So you gotta mark it. Okay. Just like a chiropractor. I put my shingle on the roof. No body cares. You got a website up, nobody even sees it. Uhhuh Manuel. I don’t know who this guy is. He looks great. Uh oh. Thank you. I appreciate that. Hope you put some YouTube channels on there cuz I don’t know what he stands for.
I don’t know anything about this guy. Have you made a plan yet or do you know what you’re gonna do to try and. Personal clients, business clients, like kinda what are you looking for? What’s your niche?
Um, I’ll definitely say currently right now my niche is definitely, um, working with people who are heading towards college.
So let’s say like freshman students and then things like that. Um, that’s really what my heart is for and things like that, but Right. So you’re targeting parents to pay for this? Yeah, and that was the thing, bef at first I was very broad, like, Hey, anyone that. To me, like come to me and things like that.
And I feel like even currently now, that’s what I still do, is like helping people. If you have a goal or a vision that you feel like you want to obtain, like let’s talk and let’s figure out what the barriers that are that are stopping you and let’s create a structure, because that’s what I’m gonna help people to do is realize like, these are the barriers that are stopping you.
So now what structure can we put in place so that when you do fall down, you know, like this structure is in place to help you get back up again and things like that. So right now, um, I basically serve, they know who to call , literally, honestly, cuz that’s the truth. Like when you fall down, you need something to help you up, to remind you like, Hey, this is the reason why I’m doing what I’m doing, You know, and
things like, Mom and dad is great, but mom and dad doesn’t necessarily have like, hey, I went out, I started a business and it failed.
Now what do I do? Or I’m looking at selling my business. Mom and dad’s, if Nest they’ve done that, they don’t know exactly who do you call for that kind of stuff. You got a business coach, you get a personal coach. You know, those types of things. Hey, is there a niche at all in like other African people where, you know, you, you grew up in that culture where they’re like, uh, you know, some people, some cultures are like, they will not go and see a counselor.
100% mental health is, Hey, good luck.
I never, you know what I mean? I never thought about that. Like, now that you bring it
up, it’s like, Cause my Chinese family is, we help each other. Like it stays, the dollar stays in the Chinese community. Times as possible. Mm-hmm. , man, that makes you know that. You ever heard of that before?
Yeah, I’ve, I’ve heard it in the Chinese, but I’ve heard it in the, like in the black community where they say like, you have to make the dollar check. Yeah. Circulate, you know, within the community and things like that. So that makes a lot of sense cuz I, I have thought about, Okay. Create an, an opportunity where I work with freshman students who are Africans going through college.
You know, cuz I feel like freshman year to the end of your senior year, specifically your freshman year, you’re almost like a sponge where you wanna soak up everything. Right? And that’s the thing that, um, being there and helping them make sense of the nonsense, you know, that’s going on. So like I’ve had the opportunity where, um, I work with a young girl, um, in Virginia.
She came to me and she told me like, I wanted to, um, write a book in two months and I feel like just a book that has been coming to my heart over and over again about my life story and I want to do it in two months. Can you help me do it? And I told her like, Hey, we can create the structure for it, but I can write the book for you.
I think like sometimes when people think about personal development coach, they think about someone doing it for them. No. The thing that we’re doing is that we have a process. And we have a structure that we set in place, not one that is specific, that, not one that every single person followed, but one that is specific for you so you can follow that.
So before the end of the two month and things like that, me and her will meet up weekly. I’ll see where she’s at. We’ll set goals like okay, by the end of this week where she’s supposed to be, um, reaching out to editors, helping, helping her find people who can. Create the front page and things like that, and they even came to the place in order to make sure that help her to achieve the go-to as well.
I took some time in order the way me and her spent like I think three hours, two, three hours on the phone reading through her entire book and making edits before we send it to the editor and things like that. And we completed it before the end of two months. You know, I have people who come to me and they say like, Hey, some people are like, Hey, I want to build or develop.
Christian walk and things like that. So I help them with that too as well. So someone may be listening to them, maybe like, Oh, so do I have to be a Christian in order for like, in order to obtain your services and things like that. And the truth to the matter is that no, you don’t have to be a Christian, right?
At the end of the day, um, my relationship with God is, is who I am, if that makes sense. But it’s not something that I push on people and things like that, depending on what you come to me for and things of that nature. That’s what I help you. Figure out what the barriers and helping to create those structures in order to help you to, um, succeed in that.
sometimes somebody would ask, they were, they got pregnant and they’re, What do you think Justin? You know, you’re an older guy. Should I get an abortion or something? I’m like, First of all, I’m gonna give you an answer, but it’s gonna be a Christian based answer. Uhhuh and my, at least in Justin’s view of Christianity.
So I know you don’t believe in that. That’s the painting. Mm-hmm. that my advice is coming from. So if you don’t want to hear that type. Brush. So if you don’t wanna see that brush, don’t ask my opinion cuz that’s the opinion I’m gonna give you. Mm-hmm. , as you can already assume what that opinion’s gonna be.
Yeah. . Yeah. You know, it’s going with the most controversial topic that you possibly could.
No, no, I definitely feel that.
Cause just to serve the purpose of it’s, it’s usually A or B on
that one, you know? Definitely. Yeah. Cause I definitely have friends who, who don’t ask me things because they’re like, they already know, they already know
So I definitely, and I can see both
sides, like ultimately it’s like, do what you want to do. Mm-hmm. , it’s your life. Not in mind. But if you’re coming to me on like, what do I think you could do? What’s your options? You know, explore different ways to, you know, before you make that decision. Cuz that’s, that’s a decision once you make it, there’s no, there’s no going back.
Exactly. So what are the other options on the table? So if they want to know, like, okay, these are all the things that you can do. Well, let’s explain this.
That’s not a rush, really. Exactly what you just did there. Um, what’s called, I think that depicts it beautifully. Someone comes to you and they say like, I don’t know what to do.
Okay. Since let’s, let’s look at what the options are. Cause that’s the thing when people are like stuck in a cloud, They don’t all, all they see is the cloud, but you who are outside are like, no, like you, you do have other options, right? The thing is that you didn’t tell them this is the direction you should go in.
And that’s the thing that as a person, development coach, I’ve learned not to do is telling people, take this direction. Because if you tell them to take that direction and they go in it and it doesn’t work out the way that they thought it. God, they come and blame you. You know? And I think that that’s like you saying, that depicts specifically what I seek and what I desire to help people to see the options.
Before them. And the barriers that also stand before them too as
well. So yeah, it’s nice is at your age, obviously you’re not gonna have as much worldly experience , but that doesn’t mean your brain is not full of podcasts, of people who are multimillionaires, own 3000 apartment buildings and you know what I mean?
Like there’s so many people that have their knowledge and they’ve dumped it out there for others to experience. And if that’s what you consume yourself with, then you’re gonna have the, the collective wisdom. Of someone beyond your age. Mm-hmm. , but also you got the master’s degrees and the educational background to see how some of this stuff flushed out.
Exactly, Exactly. Okay. So I’ve heard people say, um, we’re educating all these people, and they’re like, they’re out there and they’re like, This is the way it’s supposed to be, and you’re like, Yeah, br, that’s not the way it is all the time. Like we know, we know what your little paper said, , but in the real world, this is how it works.
And sometimes there’s like a factory, Yes, efficiency. If you actually would do this, this would be more efficient. It’s been proven on these other companies. Let’s just try it. And then there are times where it’s just like there’s that wisdom of someone who’s been doing the job for 35 years. And so there’s like a balance between that.
And I don’t know where I’m going with. But mm-hmm. , I guess there’s always two sides to being a, a, a younger
person, you know, And I’ll definitely say like at the end of the day I was, I remember I was doing, um, one of my classes, they were talking about knowledge and how knowledge comes, right? And at the end of the class, it was then that I realized through the reading is that our society is what you said.
Like there’s so much knowledge out. Right. However, just because you consume all that knowledge doesn’t make you wise. Right. And why do I say that? That’s a dangerous statement to say. What do you mean? I’m not wise if I know everything . And that’s the thing, it’s a wise person is not wise because of all that they know.
But a wise person is wise because they’re able to apply what they know at a specific time, if that makes sense. Like I hope that makes sense. Like yeah. That’s what makes person wide. So the danger, which I realize like, man, like from the time that you’re like, you start going to school, You’re being fed knowledge and information, but you’re not forced to think.
It’s just they say, this is what it is and this is the way that has been. I’m not saying that saying this is the way that it has been is wrong, but I’m saying like it’s, it’s a dangerous thing to tell people, like this is what it is, and that’s it. Because at the end of the day, then we are creating people who know a lot, but they’re not thinkers.
And what do thinkers do? Thinkers challenge the status quo so that at the end of the day, if truth is what youth say is truth and this is truth, then over time it should continually prove itself. And that’s why Socrates, that’s why Socrates was really upset at people who were in political positions, is because they were just feeding these young people informations and just telling.
And the young people are just consuming it. And SOS will come and say a them. What is virtue? And they’ll say, Oh, virtue means to be good. And he’s, What does it mean to be good? You know? But the more questions he asks, the more he, He’s trying to help them to realize that. Is this a truth that you have experienced and that you believe for yourself and that you have tested and experienced for yourself?
Or is this something that has just been given to you? Yeah, I, I love to challenge things. So ,
I’ll tell you this. I was, um, you know, you know about divorce and stuff like that mm-hmm. , but when you get a divorce and you go through the stages that you have to go through, so you come out a better person, hopefully, who it has nothing like being involved with dad.
Like there’s a book. You could tell somebody about grief and about anger, but man, sometimes when you feel the anger of that, or like if you lose somebody close, like, I lost a brother when I was younger. You can’t, you can’t manufacture those type of feelings and it stays with you. So when you find somebody else, that’s how I look at it.
When you find someone else who’s gone through that, you don’t tell ’em, Are you good? Uh, don’t worry, Tom heals all wounds. Nah, guess what? It doesn’t. You just learn how to process it better and it doesn’t affect you quite as bad, but you feel it still. Mm-hmm. . Wow. So empathy is a big deal. Empathy makes, takes it to that next level sometimes, you know?
Mm-hmm. makes someone feel heard, feel appreciated, and. A lot of times we just need somebody to be there in the fire with us, knowing that we can get out of it, and that’s what I think a personal coach can do. A business coach. They’re there with you to, like you said before, see past those clouds. This is what’s coming and preparing you for it.
I think, Man,
I folks, you heard it from the doc. Wow. That’s, We could, we could end it right there, Doc Mike, Like, wow. Wow. Oh my goodness. Thank you for sharing that, honestly. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that cause,
Cause hopefully it helps somebody in these situations.
Because life does happen to us all, you know, But it’s, it’s not what happens to us that defines us, but at the end of day, how we decide how we make meaning of it, if that makes sense.
Um, like what comes to my mind, um, there’s this book called A Man Search for Meaning, and it was written by a person who, um, went through the Holocaust, a psychologist who went through the Holocaust. And even though he, he went through that dark time, that painful time, and things of that nature. . He came out and he, he realized that at the end of the day, those things didn’t define them.
The hardships truly, they don’t define us. Like just in the same sense, our failures don’t define us right, But it refines us, helps to shape us to become a better person. But I think just as you said, at the end of the day, it’s a choice and we have that choice whether we want to choose to be bitter, where you feel like I have the right to be angry.
or we can have that choice to make for it, to make us better. And I think like even in, in the power of just the words that you said is that it’s not easy. It’s not easy, it doesn’t feel good. Like even when you go through it, like I even when you think about it, like though, that hurt, that pain resurfaces, you know, but because you found pain and it in, in, in this, in this dark place that once you felt like you were sinking.
Is that what, Just giving you the strength that you need in order to keep pushing forward, You know? And you just, by you sharing that, it shows us that it’s not just the story and the things that we go through in life. It’s not just for us, but in order for us to be an encouragement to other people. And you’re just doing this podcast, definitely.
I’m sure like it’s an encourage to other people, but specifically, personally speaking for me, I know that it’s an encouragement to me, you know, at the end of the day to continue to do what I feel within my heart to do and to do it to the best of my ability, you know? So thank you so much. Thank you.
That you betcha Mr.
Iko, you could be found on Instagram. It’ll be in the show notes. You’re gonna have a whole page dedicated to this. There’s gonna have topics that people can know what to expect in the I. As well. Like I said, they’re gonna have your Instagram handle get they’re interested. It’s eman. High four. There we go.
It’ll be clickable probably too. So again, I, I appreciate you being on the show, man. Being able to discuss different things. I, I don’t know if the pontificating is the right word, , but, uh, we, we covered a lot of things today. I’m happy with it. So appreciate your time as well. Thank
you. Thank you for this opportunity.
Thanks for making time for this. It truly means a lot.
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